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Fostewwing…Fostewwing is…

thumper“Fostering is what brings us together today” as Peter Cook would say.

When we had to say goodbye to our beloved cat in 2015, I thought my heart was shattered in pieces and I would never be able to have another cat. Oh, boy, I was wrong.

Truth to be told, no other cat will ever be able to fill Alex’s shoes as she was an extremely special girl who taught us so much about unconditional love and trust.  However, she opened up a door that is impossible to close.

Forward 6 months, we decided to open up our house to a new adventure – fostering. We didn’t choose a cat to foster. We decided that we want a cat that needs us, which just meant that we asked for a cat that is going to be hard to adopt and requires a very attentive foster house to work with. And the Universe has heard us, we have had an amazing ride with many amazing special needs foster cats.

I don’t know how people can say – that is just a cat or that is just a dog or that is just a bunny. There is not such a thing as “just something”. Same as humans, all of them have personalities, all of them have things that they like, things that they hate, things that make them happy or angry. You just need to make an effort and give them a chance to show you.

It doesn’t matter if you are fostering animals or you are fostering children, it brings a different meaning to your life.

Fostering has opened up a floodgate in my heart and sometimes I think I might not make it out alive. I used to live in ignorance and stay in my comfort zone. I used to…now I can’t.

I chose to close my eyes to the most obvious truth – if I do not care, there won’t be anyone else to care.

Fostering taught me that no matter how much it hurts, it makes you a better person for yourself.  You stepping up and unconditionally loving your foster – be it an animal or a human child, gives your foster another chance at having a good life. You opening up your heart shows that humanity still exists.

Every foster (rescue) that dies or gets adopted breaks my heart. They take a little piece of my soul with them but, I know, I have done my part. I have shown them that humans can be trusted and that humans do deserve a second chance.

I feel responsible to provide as much love as I can to make up for the evil that walks the earth hurting and abusing those who can’t stand up for themselves.

One of my foster fails – a 15 pound Maine Coon has two BB pellets embedded in him. One is embedded in his shoulder and the other is stuck in between his throat and the spine. Someone used him as a target practice and a punching bag. Do you think he hates humans?

He is a cat, I wish, the majority of humans would be like. He loves everyone – dogs, cats, humans. He is a gentle giant who trusts without hesitation. It blows my mind to think that he still trusts and loves humans in spite of what they have done to him.

His unconditional love is something I wish for. I can’t say I have the ability to forgive and move on like he has.

So, fostewwing….is something that definitely makes me a better person in my own eyes. It gives me hope that I will never live in blissful ignorance again.


As Christmas is rapidly approaching, people suddenly are waking up and remembering that this is when you are supposed to be nice or at least make an effort to be kind.

You would think that somehow there is this little nice person sitting in each of us for the entire year waiting to be let out around holidays. Everyone is smiling, everyone is patient, and everyone takes time to think about what good they could do.

Pardon my cynicism, but one would think that homeless people are hungry only around Christmas. One would think that homeless, abused, and neglected animals show up in shelters only around Christmas. One would think that all elderly people become old at the end of the year.

What good does your kindness do if it is only coming out around holidays?

Maybe kindness needs to start within you. Maybe you need to start being kind to yourself every day. Maybe you should stop beating yourself up and start thinking about how it would be walking a mile in your shoes if you were a stranger. Being kind to yourself, can make your heart skip a beat and make your day brighter.

And once we are being kind to ourselves we will start making everything else around us, including people, nicer.

World is amazing but not in the way you think. And, no, people are not nice. Yes, I will stand by my words – people are not nice. The daily reality has numbed us. We worry about existential problems more than we worry about the person next to us.

People choose to be nice and forcefully remind themselves to let the “nice” part of themselves out once in a blue moon. It’s the guilt that motivates a lot of people to be nice, but when the daily routine sets it, we are just busy and worried…

You could say that there are unicorns (nice all the time) and I even work with a few of them. It makes me suspicious as I am afraid that it is just an exterior and what if those people are hurting so badly that the only way they can get through the day is – to pay attention to other people and not think about their own pain.

Being nice is not easy. It takes a lot of hard work. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of strength to refuse to get pulled in the rat race. In the world that is ruled by consumerisms, ruled by ugly dirty politics, there are a lot of angry overworked people. People who want change, people who worry about ending up on the street if they lose their jobs.

The difference between an average person and a homeless person sometimes is just a paycheck. No paycheck, no rent or mortgage. No rent or mortgage and you are on the street…As simple as that….

You would say that I am bitter but I would argue that I am just realistic. We all know that love almost never wins over hate but we still blindly hope. We all do and there is nothing wrong with that.

Hope and forceful ignorant belief that people will do the right thing is what keeps us living but deep down we all know the truth. But enough of my darkness and party pooper attitude.

At the end of the day, I, like the majority of people out there, choose to believe that kindness is the way to go. It’s like Kindness is some kind of universal language that even deaf people can hear and blind people can see.

Og Mandino had a great idea when he suggested the following: “…..Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again….”

He Beat Me Up Pretty Good

wp-1461293685173.jpgToday I was reminded that there is so much evil in the world I live in.  Not that I didn’t know or wasn’t aware but just, as always, when something happens right in your face, you are forced to acknowledge the fact and face it.

“So many heartless people”, I thought to myself as I was bleeding in my basement.  You think you know somebody but, most likely, you don’t.

Sometimes you might wonder, how come for every 10 good people, there is this one who doesn’t deserve to be called  “human”.

Today I was reminded again what unconditional love is. I saw terror in my little boy’s eyes when he scratched me to get away from bad memories, bad experience, the terror that a harmless folded carpet reminded him of.

It doesn’t take a university degree to figure out – somebody had hurt him before he came to our house. My eyes teared up.  Not from deep bloody wounds in my forearms but from a thought about what could have happened to my little kitty to make him so skittish.

Cats love tunnels and boxes but my boy is avoiding most of them or is extremely cautious and never fully gets in if the box is tight or if you try to put him in there.

I know, karma is a bitch and I can fully rely on her to pay back with all the goodness she can come up with to repay for whatever the person did to him. My bloody arms are just a reminder to love and give him a safe place to grow old. We will figure this out and put it behind us.

My boy might have beaten me up pretty good and he might have made me bleed but he also reminded me that I have a choice – to become a part of the solution by not turning a blind eye.

My boy also reminded me that there are people out there who will inflict pain onto others to get away from their own internal pain and there are people out there who enjoy hurting animals and people because they get joy out of it.

Even though my first reaction is anger, I choose to rely on Karma to figure out who deserves what because I do not have time to hate and waste my precious life  on people like that. I have better things to do. Things like earning trust and love of my little boy and sharing precious moments of my life with him and his adoptive sister.

I could waste my life by focusing on anger and that way also waste my TODAY. I choose to let go of the past and build a better future by living every moment today.

There are other good people who will come for those who deserve to be punished for their wrong doings and animal abuse.

Crazy or So Last Millennium?

vegan-powerYes, I have gone off the rails.  I woke up one morning and made a decision that I regretted a few days later standing in the store and staring at the shopping cart.

Who came up with this idea? Of, wait, it was me.

I am going vegan for a week. Even better, I am going to kill myself, I mean, cleanse myself with the holly goodness.  Why only a week? Because I do not know if I can handle all the shopping that is required for one person a week. You should have seen the shopping cart. No, you should have seen the kitchen’s table.

If I survive all the juices and vegetable smoothies, I might consider the whole program that lasts 21 days.  Most likely, it will not be the juices or vegetables that will make me want to quite. It will be the juicing, blending, wrapping, peeling, cutting, and cleaning after the hurricane rolls over the kitchen.

I was terrified in the store when the reality hit – that is a shitload of food and we didn’t even get it all.  We got a few worried looks from fellow shoppers and I do not blame them. Why in a world would you need 20 sticks of celery and 3 huge bags of lettuce and 20 + lemons unless something is up?

If I was watching somebody piling all that green goodness in their carts, I would be worried about the end of the world or a zombie apocalypse. I would be worried that they know something that I do not.

You know, if they were selling self-sustainable pods or bunkers , I would have gotten one as I do need a place to store all those weeds we just acquired.

I am trying to stay calm and think – “….cleanse…vitamins…glowing skin…happy body…way too much fiber”.  Yes, I know, blog is not a place where you post about fiber but that is going to be something that I have to deal with.

Well, that makes me think that I also need to get a “hazard” sign and claim one of the bathrooms in case if…I am a responsible person and I do not want to put anybody in a harm’s way.  “Gas chamber” could become a reality.. J

So off I go with juices and smoothies…

Freak-Out of The Day…

Courtesy of Google images

Courtesy of Google images

You want it or not – it will get you one way or another.  As they say, you can run but you can’t hide. You can live in denial and you can avoid reading about it, hearing about it or even thinking about it but one day, trust me, it will catch up. It is better if you luck out and somehow come face to face with it just in your thoughts while reading or watching something.

What am I talking about? Genetically modified food or Monsanto.

You might think that it doesn’t impact you or that it is just a silly talk but once you start reading about it and start learning what it means – genetically modified food, your hair will stand up.  But the best part is yet to come.  So many products out there that you consider healthy and good for you actually consume genetically modified seeds, vegetables, and fruits.

“..GMOs, or “genetically modified organisms,” are plants or animals that have been genetically engineered with DNA from bacteria, viruses or other plants and animals…” says Monsanto Facts website.

Yes, not everything that is written online is true and that is why you should go and read about it yourself. You should educate yourself on the food you consume, drinks you drink, and medicine you are prescribed. If you trust in the System, it will fail you and it will betray you most of the time. The system is run by the people who like power. Some of them are honest and fight for what’s right but most of them just want to feel like they are the center of the world.

I don’t know about you but I do not want to eat tomatoes that are modified with frog’s genes. I do not want to eat corn that is injected with bacteria or chemicals that require respirators to apply.  And I definitely do not want to eat rice with Human genes engineered into them. ( Natural News)

I was speechless to find out that some companies that I choose in the store thinking that they are healthy and are made from good ingredients are actually using genetically modified ones. Healthy Choice, Natures Valley, V8, and Lipton is also on the list.

Take a look, you might find a few of your favorite ones: Shift Frequency

Honestly, it scares BGSUS out of me . It might not be freak-out of the day, it could be freak-out for life…

The Box is Now Open

wpid-IMG_20130604_111653.JPGWhen you stop for a minute, close your eyes and ears, and take a deep breath, life still goes on.

When the Universe starts bringing all kinds of odd things in your awareness and you get scared, remember – it is because it is time to stop and take a deep breath.

Fear is a constant entity in our lives. It will never go away, it will never disappear. You might be able to cover it up, you might be able to lie to yourself, but somewhere deep inside, it is still there, it is still lurking around the corner.

When the FEAR pops into your awareness and gets so strong that it scares the shit out of you, face it. Think about it. Lose your cool. Get scared, let it in and let it consume you, and when you are done being afraid, as that moment will come (it always does), just relax and let go.

Fear is like a whirlpool – the more you try to avoid it, the more additional things to be afraid of just suddenly appear like little crawlers crawling out of every corner, every dark spot, every shadow.

Once you surrender and let it take over for a few, it gets old really fast. It might be a struggle for a while but there is always a light at the end of a tunnel. You can be afraid only for so long. And yes, there is a big difference between surrendering to the flow of life and avoiding it.  Loss of control (panic) is not the same as surrendering.

Fear is not physical or real. It exists only in your mind and intensity of it is determined by you and only you. So, open the box and let it out…or let it in!

Blogging To Make a Difference

confused and agitated“..if I have made you uncomfortable, mad, confused, and maybe even agitated, then I have done a great job..” – these words are like music to my ears especially if those words are addressed to myself.

Some people ask me why I blog. Hell, sometimes I ask myself why I do it. And the answer is as simple as it gets – I blog for myself. I make a difference in my own life.

Yes, I could write a journal and be happy. No, not really! I want myself to be uncomfortable and I want myself to be agitated as that is the way I grow.

People stop by, they agree or do not agree with the way I see my world. They leave a comment, they write me a personal note, they challenge me and they show me a different perspective.

As this world runs on synergy – we are all connected. I have something to say and there is somebody out there who needs to hear it, and vice versa.

So… I blog to make a difference in my own life and those around me.

People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime (revised)

I stumbled up this on youtube and it made me stop whatever I was doing and think.  We meet so many people – some of them make us smile, some of them make us cry, some of them teach us a lesson or two, some of them help us grow, some of them make us hate the day we met them and some of them leave footsteps in our hearts that will never be forgotten…and I thank each one of them for being an important part of my life.

“…..People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON…It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON…It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”

Unknown author…

Reflection – Soul Searching…

wpid-IMG_20130516_164213.jpgI have been reading some blogs where people do interpretations and reflections of things, pictures, events, feelings, and etc.  So, I thought I will try one out and randomly went to the next blog on WordPress and grabbed the first title I saw.

Soul searching it is!

You are sitting on the floor staring at the wall and can’t believe the pain you feel. You can’t express it in words, you can’t even describe it in sounds. It is so deep. You feel lost. You feel like ground beneath your feet is crumbling. You look at your hands and they are uncontrollably shaking. You cross them and hold on tight but as harder you try as more you shake, and those are not just your hands anymore.

You have never felt like this before. It hurts everywhere. It even hurts to think. You try to breathe but you realize, there is no air. You are gasping for it when you realize you are actually drowning in your own thoughts. How do you stop them from popping in and popping out? It comes from nowhere and it goes nowhere.

Why does it hurt to breathe? Why does it hurt so much? You want to let go but you can’t. Something is holding you by your throat. Is it fear? Does fear come with pain? Can fear choke you to death? Maybe it can choke the pain out of you?

When the realization comes that you are about to lose your soul, the hell breaks loose. If you hold on, you will lose it forever. If you do not hold on, it might not come back. So you are sitting on the floor, tears are engraving pathways on your cheeks and you have no idea how long you have been on the floor mourning something untouchable, unreachable and maybe even non-existent.

Do you die when you lose your soul? If “Soul” is a myth, then why does it hurt so much?

It Takes Just a Minute…


“..They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them…”


It is amazing when it happens. It really takes just a minute to meet somebody who will leave an amazing impact on your life.

Have you ever met somebody who turned your life upside down or inside out within a few moments? It doesn’t have to be a love interest. It could be just a person who touched you so deep that it messed you up and you know that you will remember them for a long time…

Also, remember, you are that one special person for somebody in this world. Your smile, your words, your existence means a lot to somebody.

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