Crazy or So Last Millennium?
Who came up with this idea? Of, wait, it was me.
I am going vegan for a week. Even better, I am going to kill myself, I mean, cleanse myself with the holly goodness. Why only a week? Because I do not know if I can handle all the shopping that is required for one person a week. You should have seen the shopping cart. No, you should have seen the kitchen’s table.
If I survive all the juices and vegetable smoothies, I might consider the whole program that lasts 21 days. Most likely, it will not be the juices or vegetables that will make me want to quite. It will be the juicing, blending, wrapping, peeling, cutting, and cleaning after the hurricane rolls over the kitchen.
I was terrified in the store when the reality hit – that is a shitload of food and we didn’t even get it all. We got a few worried looks from fellow shoppers and I do not blame them. Why in a world would you need 20 sticks of celery and 3 huge bags of lettuce and 20 + lemons unless something is up?
If I was watching somebody piling all that green goodness in their carts, I would be worried about the end of the world or a zombie apocalypse. I would be worried that they know something that I do not.
You know, if they were selling self-sustainable pods or bunkers , I would have gotten one as I do need a place to store all those weeds we just acquired.
I am trying to stay calm and think – “..health….cleanse…vitamins…glowing skin…happy body…way too much fiber”. Yes, I know, blog is not a place where you post about fiber but that is going to be something that I have to deal with.
Well, that makes me think that I also need to get a “hazard” sign and claim one of the bathrooms in case if…I am a responsible person and I do not want to put anybody in a harm’s way. “Gas chamber” could become a reality.. J
So off I go with juices and smoothies…
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About DaceI am perfectly imperfect!
- Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening
- Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective
- Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore
- Sonder: The realization that everybody has a story
- The Unsettling Awareness of My Own Heartbeat