I guess, we all have people in our lives that are just options. You like them, you enjoy their company but you just don’t care for them so much. There is no way around it.
What’s great about my or your life is that we can change it. You can go from “an option” to “a must have” in a heartbeat if you choose so.
The biggest paradox in my life is that I realize – I do not matter but I do matter at the same time. You matter to yourself and to some people and you totally do not matter to the rest of the world.
Once you think about it and it sinks in, you see the world in a way different way. You are allowing yourself to see that you and you alone can make yourself happy. You can let somebody else in and allow them to participate in your happiness but you also have an option not to.
After all everybody else is just an option.
“..Don’t you type at me in that tone of voice..” I said to myself and burst into laughter. “..And what kind of tone is it?..” I continued the deep meaningful conversation with myself. “…I have no clue but don’t you dare….” I kept typing and laughing.
I guess, the tone of a written word depends on a mood you are in. The same sentence can feel threatening, insulting or funny and caring depending on what is happening in your head at that particular moment.
I have been utilizing WordPress reader feature to keep up with people’s blogs and their lives. Again and again I had to smirk about the ways life flows with its ups and downs. You can read one and the same post in the morning and then in the evening and realize, you get different things and different feelings out it.
I guess, the realization to be had is that you can’t control where life takes you but you can definitely control how you see and experience your journey. And again, it is not where you get, it is how you get there. Furthermore, it is now about what you know, it is about what you are going to do with that knowledge.
So many of us have learned the lesson the hard way. Nothing haunts us like the things we have not done, choices we have not made, and words we have not said. All this is a huge part of the journey we take.
Of course, one could argue that not doing or saying also is the journey itself. Yes and no. The difference here is not the words that you didn’t say but the words that you wanted to say but didn’t. The emphasis is on – wanted to but fear got into your way, somebody talked you out of it, you found all kinds of excuses not to do something even though deep in your heart you knew that was something you WANTED to do or say.
As older you get, as more of the world you see, as more you experience, as more you learn about yourself and the world you live in, the more you start recognizing that your life is not about finding yourself, your life is about creating yourself – one day at a time, one choice at a time, one decision at a time.
You can redefine who you are on a daily basis as long as you are the one who feels the need. As long as you do not let others redefine your life or to invade your thoughts by convincing you to go down the rabbit hole you do not want to.
If you do choose to go down the rabbit hole, it should be the one you chose.
These words just mean that if you wake up in the morning and you feel like leaving everything behind and going to learn how to fish in Alaska, then you should do it. You should not allow somebody convince you to choose a steady office job instead.
On a daily basis we have conversations with people around us who are as blind to the reality as we are. They share their thoughts and their fears and the more they do, the more you start feeling that they might be right.
I know, the word invasion sounds like something from science fiction but if you think about how much you believe in what has been said in mass media, social media, or during conversations, you will realize that you do not have to believe in invasion or UFO or conspiracies. You, yourself, invade your own existence by believing that you can’t do something, shouldn’t do something, should or should not say something. You are your worst enemy….
So, hell with the invasion, let’s go be ourselves….
I guess, it has been passed on from generation to generation that you need to want more than you have. Nobody can explain why but everyone knows that settling is basically admitting defeat.
Of course, we all have dreams and things we may want to do or achieve but sometimes those dreams are not ours. They are there because we live in an illusionary world that the grass is greener somewhere else. Sometimes those are just excuses that we make.
- if I had parents like Joe does, I would have been more family oriented
- if I had a better car, I would have traveled more
- if I could afford a bigger house, I would have started a family
- if I had more money, I would have invested and be rich.
“If I only….” is the best excuse that a humankind has invented. Let’s look at it from a different angle.
If you had parents like Joe, you would be beaten every day just because you exist. Just because his parents were always around and always waved at you from their back yard, doesn’t mean that they were perfect. You are were you are because your parents worked 2 jobs to be able to send you to college. Your Joe ended up doing drugs and died on the street because he couldn’t cope with abusive parents.
If you had a better car, you would have not traveled more. You do not need a better car, you need to save your money and budget better. A better car has never been a major reason somebody couldn’t travel as there are other ways to do it.
And this goes on and on. You can do whatever you want with your life. However, sometimes it works out and sometimes it is just not supposed happen. So, stop trying to open the door that is locked and look around, there might be another door that is available.
No, this is not about the lie that you have heard – as harder you work, as faster you will achieve what you want. Sometimes stuff just doesn’t happen. And sometimes your dreams are just a lie that you tell yourself to find an excuse not to do something.
The grass is never greener somewhere else. The grass is green where you are. You can make it greener by taking your own path. Sometimes that path takes you down the rabbit hole where it is dark and scary but nevertheless exciting.
Once you learn to accept what you have and go with the flow of life, you put an end to drama. After all, life is an adventure and not a curse.
We all have a journey but not all of us have a destination. For some odd reason some people think that everything we do in life leads us to some kind of mystic happiness. Not everybody realizes that happiness is a journey not a destination.
Even funnier is when people think that everybody needs to follow the same rule – you need to do something to get somewhere and that somewhere is definitely a destination and that destination always is happiness. It does get even better – that something is a meaning of your life or an understanding why you are here, what you are meant to do or be, and that is when you reach the ultimate goal – HAPPINESS.
But guess what – you get there and you are still not happy. Of course, that must mean that you didn’t fully properly defined what that something you need to do or have is, so, back to the drawing board.
Happiness is a journey and not a destination. That changes the whole game.
If what matters is a journey and not a destination, then the path you choose better be good. I do not mean, accepted and approved by everybody – relatives, friends, society. I mean, it better be good for you. It better be the one that you look at at the end and gasp for air in excitement:” GSUS, what a ride!”.
Honestly, how being a rich person is different from being a homeless person? It is not. It is a different journey, a different path. Being rich just means that you are addicted to things, money, and status, and you have chosen a different path to get where you are going. Being homeless means that you have different things that you are addicted to. You may not have a roof over your head but that is just an illusion that having a house, a job, a credit card is better than having a paper bag with a bottle of rum in it.
When you die, it will not matter anymore. Who cares how you got there? What matters is – was it a hell of a ride and did you get a kick out of it?
As humans, we have a tendency to judge. We keep comparing things and people to some idealistic illusions on what our life should look like even though nobody has a clue – what the meaning of life is or what our purpose is.
I guess, the moral of the story is – Stop trying to do the right thing. Listen to your heart and enjoy whatever comes.
What does this post have to do with the subject – secret in your eyes? Everything and nothing. When you feel lost or you get overwhelmed with the information and expectations that come from people around you, remember, you know the truth – it is your journey, not theirs. Look into your own eyes, into your soul, take a deep breath, figure out what your heart wants to do and take a plunge.
Again, you should not live a life that others think you should. You should take your own path, you should fall, trip, succeed, drown, take drugs, drink, become a millionaire, live on the street, marry five times or don’t marry at all, have or don’t have kids, buy a house or two or live in a tent, have worms as your pets… It is not about being weird or being an outcast, it is about taking your own journey that will end up in death. Nobody escapes death…so take the journey that catches your breath, that brings joy and happiness.
As some smart intelligent people have said: “…when you came into this world, you cried and everyone else laughed and smiled. So, live your life the way that when you die, you are the one laughing and everyone else crying…” It translates to – enjoy your life.
You keep saying it either out loud or in your head but it doesn’t make it less real. For as much as I know, you can scream it out, it will still be as real as it gets.
Either you got a bleeding nose driving on a highway or you are watching your life fall apart right in front of your eyes, it is something intense and overwhelming. Either you believe that your life is real or just an illusion, pain, fear, sadness, or horror is as real as it gets. It is still an experience and you are in the middle of it.
There are things in your life that are out of your control but there are things that you can influence. There are only two questions that need to be answered. Can I change whatever is happening? AND Should I change whatever is happening?
You already have the answer as your subconsciousness is smarter than your EGO. Don’t fight with yourself just because you might not be comfortable or don’t want things to happen this way.
But, please tell me that This Is Not happening and you are not allowing people around you define your choices or how you live your life.
Also, please tell me that you are not allowing your past to define who you are today. Leave your past in the past and say – this is happening and I am moving on. I am choosing me and I am choosing my future that is based on whatever comes and not on what happened to me .
Life is a funny thing. It can be messed up because you believe you don’t deserve anything better.
Things or events can’t break us unless you let them. If you choose not to let doubts, pain, guilt, negative thoughts stay for a long time, your life suddenly seems a much better place to experience.
Negative and painful thoughts are not unique creatures who choose those who are weak. Strong and happy people also have them. The difference is, they don’t dwell on these thoughts. Thoughts come and go and do not stay because they are not welcome to hang around.
You believe that you deserve happiness, don’t you? Or at least, you want to be happy? well, then choose not to accept negativity, choose not to let negative thoughts linger around, choose to love yourself.
Remember that most of the time you regret things that you have not done. In this case, make that choice to do something that makes you happy, make a choice to do something that scares you and I promise you, you will be surprised what will come of it.
And then you will say with excitement – This is not happening, I am doing it, I am feeling it, I am living….
Do you have a parent or a family member or a friend that brings nothing but a bad energy into your life? You know, one of those people who is always blaming everyone else. One of those people who always bullies, shames, and puts you down.
That one person whom you love but definitely try to avoid because it always ends up to be not just an uncomfortable experience but also a reason why you sometimes doubt if you are who you think you are.
Most of the time those who bully or hurt others are hurting inside themselves and putting it out on somebody else is the only way they know how to cope with their own pain. You might think it is silly, but that is so real and so true for many people.
When one does not know how to deal with their own pain, they lash out. However, just because they are in pain, you do not have to accept their behavior. You do not have to put up with that. Remember, you always have a choice.
You can’t save the world, but you can definitely choose people you want in it. Family is the one you choose and home is where you make it.
Life is complicated enough so you should not allow somebody to steer it direction you do not want to go. Regardless if they are considered family or not.
We spend every day trying to maneuver between possible and impossible, real and perception, dreams and reality, wishes and desires, fears and courage, and we do not have time to waste trying to deal with people who build roadblocks for themselves and others around them.
Life is enjoyable and full of wonders. It is an amazing journey and not an obstacle course that is created by somebody else, even if that somebody else has given you life.
I was watching people at work and at the end of the day I confirmed what is a well-known knowledge. This well-known knowledge is forgotten and maybe sometimes ignored.
Let me do a quick introduction before I tell you what it is.
There are 3 kind of people in your life:
- People that you like or are drawn to
- People that you do not like or barely tolerate
- People that you do not remember/notice or, so called, invisible people
There is only one thing in common or different about these people.
When you meet somebody, it takes you only a few seconds either to like them on not like them or not care for them.
Most of the time it is their personality. I do not mean their values or beliefs or convictions. They do not even need to talk.
I am talking about smiling and having a positive presence about them. The more you smile, the more open you are, the more relaxed is your non-verbal communication.
You feel attracted to positive, smiling people and you tend to avoid angry, scowling or tensed up people.
All it takes is some sense of humor and a genuine smile. No kidding. Start smiling. Find something funny in your head and start smiling.
Once you start smiling, you will infect other people and they will come back for more.