Demolition time

Roger Waters The Wall

Roger Waters The Wall

As I am smashing my hammer against the wall I am thinking about my mother. The wall just reminded me of how much they are alike. I know, how odd is that when a wall reminds you of your mother?

Somebody some time long ago put in the half wall in the most ridiculous place. You can kind of see the reasoning but still it just doesn’t make sense. You look at the layout of the place and you keep wondering why there is this wall that almost has no purpose as just to abstract the view and complicate things.

Same way is my mother’s life. Sometime long ago somebody made her think or feel or just told her flat out – you ought to be this way. No reason, no understanding , no purpose – just be.

And so she went to develop all the characteristics of this half wall. Till this day she chooses to be the half wall in her own life and refuses to think that walls are not permanent. She refuses to remove these walls in fear that she will not live up to somebody’s expectations and will not have the purpose somebody else chose for her. However, she herself can’t explain that purpose or even knows it.

All she knows is – you ought to be this way…

Friends Off – Gun Control

Courtesy of Fox News

Courtesy of Fox News

I could never understand how people can have a stand on some issues without understanding facts or even educating themselves, not to mention the inability to look at the issue from the other side.

This is a slippery slope for anybody to walk. However, I would assume that you can agree to disagree and still stay friends unless it is harming somebody.

Should a person have the right to bear arms? Absolutely.

Should there be stronger controls on who can get a gun or what kind of gun? Absolutely.

These two are not mutually exclusive.

If you want to get a few guns because you collect them, you hunt, you just like to go to a shooting range or you just want to have them for your own protection, you should be able to.

Should you go through training and special psychological evaluation to make sure that one day you will not go to the mall or some school and start shooting because you feel ignored, upset or just angry.

Domestic abusers should not be allowed to obtain guns. People with restraining orders who have been threatening others should not be allowed to obtain guns. Convicts should not be allowed to obtain guns. Mentally ill or mentally unstable should not be allowed to obtain guns.

Would you want to receive a phone call informing you that the school your kid is going to is being evacuated because some kid brought a gun to school and started shooting? Would you want to hear that your kid was killed?

You can have a gun if you are getting it for the right reasons and are not planning on intentionally harming somebody. You have the right to own a weapon but should also be ready to proof that you are fit to own one.

You have the right to bear arms but I have the right not to be shot by somebody who just walked in the store, got a gun and then went on a rampage.

Gun control is a two-way street. People who are fit to have guns should be able to acquire them and people who do not want anything to do with guns should be able to trust the system that nutjobs do not have access to any weapons. Both sides have the right to feel safe.


It Is What It Is…

victimI kept repeating it over and over again in my head and maybe a few times out laud. It was raining and the wind was strong enough to make me question my ability to stand on my feet.

Why don’t my sunglasses have wipers? I asked myself. It was a blessing to have them even though I couldn’t see where I was going.  I’d rather struggle seeing where I am going than dealing with cold rain drops and some hail smashing against my eyeballs.

I crossed my arms even harder to keep myself warm.  It is what it is…It is what it is…It was your choice. Nobody else made it for you.

It is so easy to blame somebody or something else for mishaps and bad choices you make.  You make a choice and instead of owning your choice, you blame, you point, you get angry, you lash out.

Oh, poor me! Oh, stupid mother nature! Oh, stupid people in cars. Oh, stupid useless umbrella…I kept walking in the rain, totally soaked, exhausted from fighting the wind. It is what it is, I kept reminding myself till it got funny.

The truth is – I could have turned around and waited for the bus. I could have made a choice not to walk home and go to the bus stop right away. I could have waited out. I made the choice to walk, knowing that I might get soaked.

And the moral of this useless blabbering is – I have no one to blame but myself. Even better. There is no reason to blame anyone, even myself. It is what it is – own your choices. And if the choice is not working out, don’t be stubborn, turn around (if possible).

There is only one person who needs to be happy – and it is you. If you can’t change what you have done or chosen, own it, and make the best of it. You CAN enjoy the ride regardless if that is something that takes your breath away or makes you cry. Everything is a journey – sometimes enjoyable and sometimes full of hate and pain but nonetheless a journey that you take.

Stop blaming… stop being a victim…

Your Life Has No Value


Courtesy Of Google Images

I was walking down the road saving worms again (shaking my head and smirking).  Yes, I am one of those crazy people who want to save the world, including worms. Ha..Ha…don’t worry, I do not spend my days walking around looking for every opportunity to save someone. However, if I am heading somewhere and I see a worm on the sidewalk, I will put in the grass.

I passed a guy as he was crawling and I was running late to work. A few steps later I stopped to pick up a worm that looked a bit exhausted. It was hard to pick it up due to his tiny size and it took longer than I expected. The guy that I just passed caught up and was curious to see what I was picking up. When he saw the worm, he frowned and made a hissing sound.

I picked up the worm, put it in the grass and thought to myself:  “..yeah..yeah…a** hole”. The rest of the day this episode was bothering me. I couldn’t believe that he was so cold and indifferent and had the nerve to let me know that he thought it was ridiculous.

To get some clarity I asked myself if there was something that would make me frown upon something that somebody was doing. Of course, I will not care about things that are not important to me. Do I care about people being sick? Yes, it is sad but as long as it is somebody I do not know it will stay just that “sad” and “wrong” but it will not hit home.

Same way as I do care about rain forests being cut down and children being raped in african countries just because men believe that sex with a virgin will cure them from AIDS, I do not go above and beyond as just signing petitions and admiring people who do something about it.

In other words, I feel sad about wrongs in this world but I do not care unless it hits home. Unless something bad happens to somebody I care about, it is not important.

Neither my life nor yours has value to others unless we mean world to somebody.  And for somebody if something bad happens to you, it is just a reminder of their own mortality.




Is LGBT a Culture or a Curse?

LGBT CultureSomebody stumbled upon my blog by searching this question. I thought about it and figured that it deserved a bit more attention than just a smirk.

First, I can’t even wrap my head around it. LGBT as a culture. I would call it more a community than a culture. Let’s ask google.

“… the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively….”
“..Culture is our way of life. It includes our values, beliefs, customs, languages and traditions….”
“…Culture is a word for people’s ‘way of life’, meaning the way groups do things…”

It looks to me that LGBT is not a way of life or how groups do things. It is not a culture, it is not a way of life, and it definitely is not a lifestyle.

If LGBT is a culture, then Straight should be a culture. No matter how you look, that is not a culture. There is a bunch of LGBT people who hang out together, have events, have celebrations, have a ” community” where everybody is welcomed.

In this day and age there are still people who have no clue about so many things. I do not want to be rude or disrespectful but, dear people, there is google and if you really want to be sure and find facts, please educate yourself.

It still blows my mind that there are people who do not know that:

Homosexuality is not the same as pedophilia
Psychologist is not the same as psychiatrist
Sexual orientation is not a choice but religion is.
Canadians actually speak English and not Canadian
Gays are amazing parents because they choose parenthood. It is planned and wanted.
You can’t raise gay kids. It is not something you can teach somebody. They are born that way.
Calories are not the same. 1,000 burger calories will make you obese. 1,000 salad calories will probably make you just nauseous as it is a lot of greens.
Most of diseases are caused by stress and food you eat and not genetics.
We, humans, are causing global warming. Go read some scientific proof. It is not a myth.
Life is just a dream….

And just to let you know,

- I am gay but I do not have a gay life. I have a life.

- I am not having a gay job. I have a job.

- I do not have a gay marriage. I am married to a wonderful person and I share my life with them. We do laundry, we shop, we go on vacation, we sponsor kids in third world countries, we buy presents for friends and relatives, we renovate, we argue, we yell, we laugh, we agree and we disagree, and etc…

- My friends are not gay friends. I have friends from every walk  of life – different age, different gender, different sexual orientation, and different faith. I do not choose friends based on their sexual orientation. I choose my friends based on their personalities and their values.

- I have a car, I do not have a gay car.

- We have a cat and she is not a gay cat.

- I pay taxes. I do not pay gay taxes.

And, just to sum up, nothing is a curse. It is just life. Things happen, but you are the one who determines if it is bad or good. Your attitude defines everything. So, LGBT is a curse only and only if you see it that way and most likely it is because you have surrounded yourself with bad people. There are bad people and good people everywhere – in every country, in every community, in every city, in every family.


My Bucket List

Everyone should have a bucket list, right? So, here is mine







Courage To Fail

courageDay in day out there are thoughts in your head that speak their own truth.  Sometimes they actually agree with your view of life but most often they just stir shit up and keep popping in and out of  your awareness.

“..You got to have a dream. If you don’t, you need to get one as you are nothing without dreams…You must want something. You need to have a goal to reach as without goals you are wasting your life”

Have you noticed that you cannot not have a dream, a wish,  a want?  It is a must or you are just a pathetic and a very sad person in the eyes of people around you. And have you noticed that none of them can answer the question – WHY?

Do you know that whatever people do or try to achieve is because it makes them feel that they are not wasting their lives?

And do you know why they feel that way? Because that is what others around them believe in. The illusion of purpose of life, dreams, achievements, fame, family, career, and etc., drives them to go, do and chase unreachable.

Everybody is running somewhere trying to reach something, trying to find something. I do not mean physical activities. Even sitting and meditating is for some greater good – for universal consciousness, for world peace, for enlightenment, for the TRUTH, for the harmony.

However, if you do want to find answers, you should not be afraid to fail everybody and everything. You need the courage to turn your back on everything you know and let yourself figure things out.

Only those who stop believing that everything they know is true and everything around them is real, and have the courage to say, enough is enough, are able to make a few steps forward in direction where they are supposed go to find themselves.

Only when you lose everything, you gain everything.

There is nothing wrong with having a dream or enjoying something you do as long as that is a natural occurrence not coming from the influence of others. There is nothing wrong with the enjoyment of something as long as it is not the choice you made based on a limited selection provided to you as only options. What am I talking about?

Where do you get options to choose from? TV, parents, magazines, and leading questions: what do you want to become when you grow up? Suggestions from others: you are so good at this, you should become a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, and etc.

What I mean is – when you choose something you really love, you know it. You have made the choice not because you had to and not because it was expected of you but because that was something you always wanted to be.  You you made a choice not based on how much it would pay or what status it would give you, or what others would think about it, or because everybody has to have a job and this is what you think you like,  but you made that choice because it takes over your whole being. You enjoy every second of it.

I just want to say – do not be afraid to fail and this time I do not mean failing and giving up to reach a dream or be successful in whatever you do. We know “that FAILURE” quite well. I mean do not be afraid to fail to be whatever everyone else expects of you.


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