Dalai Lama once said: “Know the rules well — so that you can break them effectively.” He is talking about the rules that we set for ourselves. He is talking about the rules that we take as true but don’t actually understand them.
And, yes, sometimes I hate life that others have decided I should have. Actually, honestly, that is not true anymore. It used to be. I used to care what others thought of my choices. I used to care what others would think about what I said. I used to care if people accepted me the way I was.
Now I know. I do not have to. I get to choose people around me. I can walk away any time, any day. I can remove myself from any situation when I want. Yes, sometimes, choices I have might not be something I am thrilled about but as long as I have options, and believe me, they are always there, I am free to exercise them.
So, No, I do not hate Life neither mine nor yours
No matter where you go, no matter what job you choose, no matter what country you live in, limitations that you see are set in your mind. And no matter where you will go and what you will choose to do, same limitations will follow.
Most of the time you feel trapped in the situation, belief or circumstance but as more you look as more you discover that the only place you are trapped is your own mind. You can’t see beyond your beliefs, you can’t see beyond your fear, and you can’t see passed your failures. You just can’t see that there is another way, another choice, and another way of thinking.
Of course it does! People are afraid of everything. They don’t know why they are afraid but they know that they are. They gather things, people, relationships, and choose events to attend, just to be on the safe side and feel comfortable.
Some do not even know what “comfort zone” is and struggle to describe it. Once they are forcefully removed from a stagnant path and known choices, they enjoy new and unknown things and wonder where they have been their entire life. But even then, majority goes back to their old environment.
Once you face the fear, it disappears as mystery behind THE Unknown becomes Known and Familiar.
If you are unhappy, but choose to be where you are, choose same people around you, choose not to try that one thing you always wished you had the guts to do, magic will not happen.
Magic happens when you decide to go against your own way. Magic happens when you turn your back towards the old way and face the new way.
As I am smashing my hammer against the wall I am thinking about my mother. The wall just reminded me of how much they are alike. I know, how odd is that when a wall reminds you of your mother?
Somebody some time long ago put in the half wall in the most ridiculous place. You can kind of see the reasoning but still it just doesn’t make sense. You look at the layout of the place and you keep wondering why there is this wall that almost has no purpose as just to abstract the view and complicate things.
Same way is my mother’s life. Sometime long ago somebody made her think or feel or just told her flat out – you ought to be this way. No reason, no understanding , no purpose – just be.
And so she went to develop all the characteristics of this half wall. Till this day she chooses to be the half wall in her own life and refuses to think that walls are not permanent. She refuses to remove these walls in fear that she will not live up to somebody’s expectations and will not have the purpose somebody else chose for her. However, she herself can’t explain that purpose or even knows it.
All she knows is – you ought to be this way…
I could never understand how people can have a stand on some issues without understanding facts or even educating themselves, not to mention the inability to look at the issue from the other side.
This is a slippery slope for anybody to walk. However, I would assume that you can agree to disagree and still stay friends unless it is harming somebody.
Should a person have the right to bear arms? Absolutely.
Should there be stronger controls on who can get a gun or what kind of gun? Absolutely.
These two are not mutually exclusive.
If you want to get a few guns because you collect them, you hunt, you just like to go to a shooting range or you just want to have them for your own protection, you should be able to.
Should you go through training and special psychological evaluation to make sure that one day you will not go to the mall or some school and start shooting because you feel ignored, upset or just angry.
Domestic abusers should not be allowed to obtain guns. People with restraining orders who have been threatening others should not be allowed to obtain guns. Convicts should not be allowed to obtain guns. Mentally ill or mentally unstable should not be allowed to obtain guns.
Would you want to receive a phone call informing you that the school your kid is going to is being evacuated because some kid brought a gun to school and started shooting? Would you want to hear that your kid was killed?
You can have a gun if you are getting it for the right reasons and are not planning on intentionally harming somebody. You have the right to own a weapon but should also be ready to proof that you are fit to own one.
You have the right to bear arms but I have the right not to be shot by somebody who just walked in the store, got a gun and then went on a rampage.
Gun control is a two-way street. People who are fit to have guns should be able to acquire them and people who do not want anything to do with guns should be able to trust the system that nutjobs do not have access to any weapons. Both sides have the right to feel safe.
Why don’t my sunglasses have wipers? I asked myself. It was a blessing to have them even though I couldn’t see where I was going. I’d rather struggle seeing where I am going than dealing with cold rain drops and some hail smashing against my eyeballs.
I crossed my arms even harder to keep myself warm. It is what it is…It is what it is…It was your choice. Nobody else made it for you.
It is so easy to blame somebody or something else for mishaps and bad choices you make. You make a choice and instead of owning your choice, you blame, you point, you get angry, you lash out.
Oh, poor me! Oh, stupid mother nature! Oh, stupid people in cars. Oh, stupid useless umbrella…I kept walking in the rain, totally soaked, exhausted from fighting the wind. It is what it is, I kept reminding myself till it got funny.
The truth is – I could have turned around and waited for the bus. I could have made a choice not to walk home and go to the bus stop right away. I could have waited out. I made the choice to walk, knowing that I might get soaked.
And the moral of this useless blabbering is – I have no one to blame but myself. Even better. There is no reason to blame anyone, even myself. It is what it is – own your choices. And if the choice is not working out, don’t be stubborn, turn around (if possible).
There is only one person who needs to be happy – and it is you. If you can’t change what you have done or chosen, own it, and make the best of it. You CAN enjoy the ride regardless if that is something that takes your breath away or makes you cry. Everything is a journey – sometimes enjoyable and sometimes full of hate and pain but nonetheless a journey that you take.
Stop blaming… stop being a victim…
I was walking down the road saving worms again (shaking my head and smirking). Yes, I am one of those crazy people who want to save the world, including worms. Ha..Ha…don’t worry, I do not spend my days walking around looking for every opportunity to save someone. However, if I am heading somewhere and I see a worm on the sidewalk, I will put in the grass.
I passed a guy as he was crawling and I was running late to work. A few steps later I stopped to pick up a worm that looked a bit exhausted. It was hard to pick it up due to his tiny size and it took longer than I expected. The guy that I just passed caught up and was curious to see what I was picking up. When he saw the worm, he frowned and made a hissing sound.
I picked up the worm, put it in the grass and thought to myself: “..yeah..yeah…a** hole”. The rest of the day this episode was bothering me. I couldn’t believe that he was so cold and indifferent and had the nerve to let me know that he thought it was ridiculous.
To get some clarity I asked myself if there was something that would make me frown upon something that somebody was doing. Of course, I will not care about things that are not important to me. Do I care about people being sick? Yes, it is sad but as long as it is somebody I do not know it will stay just that “sad” and “wrong” but it will not hit home.
Same way as I do care about rain forests being cut down and children being raped in african countries just because men believe that sex with a virgin will cure them from AIDS, I do not go above and beyond as just signing petitions and admiring people who do something about it.
In other words, I feel sad about wrongs in this world but I do not care unless it hits home. Unless something bad happens to somebody I care about, it is not important.
Neither my life nor yours has value to others unless we mean world to somebody. And for somebody if something bad happens to you, it is just a reminder of their own mortality.