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I have been reading some blogs where people do interpretations and reflections of things, pictures, events, feelings, and etc.  So, I thought I will try one out and randomly went to the next blog on WordPress and grabbed the first title I saw.

Soul searching it is!

You are sitting on the floor staring at the wall and can’t believe the pain you feel. You can’t express it in words, you can’t even describe it in sounds. It is so deep. You feel lost. You feel like ground beneath your feet is crumbling. You look at your hands and they are uncontrollably shaking. You cross them and hold on tight but as harder you try as more you shake, and those are not just your hands anymore.

You have never felt like this before. It hurts everywhere. It even hurts to think. You try to breathe but you realize, there is no air. You are gasping for it when you realize you are actually drowning in your own thoughts. How do you stop them from popping in and popping out? It comes from nowhere and it goes nowhere.

Why does it hurt to breathe? Why does it hurt so much? You want to let go but you can’t. Something is holding you by your throat. Is it fear? Does fear come with pain? Can fear choke you to death? Maybe it can choke the pain out of you?

When the realization comes that you are about to lose your soul, the hell breaks loose. If you hold on, you will lose it forever. If you do not hold on, it might not come back. So you are sitting on the floor, tears are engraving pathways on your cheeks and you have no idea how long you have been on the floor mourning something untouchable, unreachable and maybe even non-existent.

Do you die when you lose your soul? If “Soul” is a myth, then why does it hurt so much?

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Not every path we take in life will be paved. Sometimes we will have to stomp through muddy puddles in our shiny shoes, sometimes we will have to swim over the ocean without knowing how to swim, and sometimes we will end up at the end of the path that is a dead end.

It is not the Path that we take that’s important but it is the Journey itself.

You know what they say: life will not throw at you anything that you can’t handle. So, when you are standing at the cross roads, you know that regardless which path you choose, you will handle it.

To me crossroads are not crossroads, they are checkpoints. Once I find myself standing confused, angry, and hurt, I realize that it is a check point for me to re-evaluate and be honest with myself:  Is this path still for me?

Sometimes it seems that the answer is not for you to give as it might not be you who is asking questions but at the end you know, that everything that happened to you is for you and, yes, no matter how you look, it is still your Checkpoint.

Once you find yourself on a run-away train, you have a choice to make – to stay on a train and see where it leads or jump off while it is running at the full speed and trust yourself, trust your choice, and trust the Universe.

It is so easy to let the anger take over and want to hurt people around you. It is so easy to forget that they are as confused as you are, as lost, and maybe even hurt. They are trying to catch and handle odd curve balls that Life throws at them the same way as you are.  Respect and understanding should be the base for any of your relationships…It is not easy!

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“..You’re on the right road if you’re happy when your’re lost…” – it is a gooder as they say it here in Canada.

It took me a few minutes to soak this in and to find a meaning for myself.  Usually, a typical response to being lost is anger, frustration, disbelief, and fear. But it just might mean that you have chosen to stay on the wrong path.

What this means to me is – feeling lost, confused, and a little scared still might come together with being happy. A good example is being in love or falling in love. You feel lost, you feel scared, you have no clue what is going on but overall you are happy. You are happy that you love, you are happy that you breathe, you are happy that you have been given opportunity to live and experience.

Same goes for being alone. You can be alone and confused but you can still be happy as everything that is given to you is given to you to learn, to feel, to experience, and to make the best out of it.

Sometimes even feeling lost makes you happy as that is the time when you reflect on everything and are pressured to be honest with yourself.

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Look Beyond Imperfections

How many of you believe that everybody deserves love? No, no…the question wasn’t how many of you wish, hope, or want to be loved for who you are.

The question is, do you believe that you deserve love? Do you deserve to be loved the way you are – short, tall, chubby, skinny, gay, transgender, religious, tree huger, white, Hispanic, atheist, disabled, weird, different?

If you do, then why don’t you love yourself?

The most amazing thing about loving yourself and accepting yourself is that you learn to appreciate love and generosity. You also attract people who want to be around that – sincere, intelligent, sweet and respectful. Those people will enrich your life the same way you will enrich theirs.

You realize that your uniqueness is what makes this life more enjoyable for you and for those around you. Share your smile, share your fears, share your joys, share your uniqueness, and share your love. As I have said a few times already, you never know who’s life you saved today and who’s day is brighter just because you exist. You might never find out, but believe me – there is somebody out there whom you mean more than a life itself.

 

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Courtesy of Google Images

Sometimes you find yourself stuck in a bubble trying to answer a question: when did lights go off? That could be a bubble filled with thoughts or a bubble filled with feelings.  It’s dark, it’s scary, it turns your life upside down.

As harder and faster you try to figure out what you think and feel as faster thoughts and feelings spin around, and as harder you get slapped. You know yourself so well that thoughts and feelings reach so deep and slap the hell out of you.  At some point you can’t handle the pain anymore and you stop. You do not want to think or feel anymore. You stop trying and just give in.

That is when you realize – those are not thoughts or feelings that you do not trust, you do not trust yourself.

So, you are in the dark staring in the face of, so-called, Trust demon…Now what?

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courtesy of Google images

Life is a silly thing.  You never know what it will bring. You think that you got this whole thing figured out when it hits you in the place where it hurts the most.

I guess, the journey you take, is the one for you and just you. You have to allow yourself to be free from opinions, beliefs, and convictions.  The load is never too heavy to bear. You have to trust in yourself and the Universe. You have to trust that whatever happens happens for the best and that at the end of the turmoil you are going to live a life that suits you.

Sometimes you have to take your chances even when it feels that you are jumping off the ledge. Of course, you can never figure out the future, but you can take a chance and go with a flow. Let the life take you where you have to go.

And, yes, sometimes you have to take the chance and let whatever is inside you to come out to play, to laugh, to cry, and to do whatever you desire the most as you have to live in this world and see it your way. You have to understand that you have to live your own life and never fit in as fitting in means being an average and living a life that somebody else has chosen for you.

Sometimes you just have to let go…

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“..They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them…”

~unknown

It is amazing when it happens. It really takes just a minute to meet somebody who will leave an amazing impact on your life.

Have you ever met somebody who turned your life upside down or inside out within a few moments? It doesn’t have to be a love interest. It could be just a person who touched you so deep that it messed you up and you know that you will remember them for a long time…

Also, remember, you are that one special person for somebody in this world. Your smile, your words, your existence means a lot to somebody.

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Today is one of those days when I question my own sanity as everyone else seems going nuts.  When you look around and everyone else seems crazy, you just can’t help to think that most likely the world is still the same and it is you….

Hold on! It is not you, it is me..ha..ha..Yeah, I am familiar with that saying.  I know that I am not sane and most likely I am even crazy but that is the beauty of this journey that we call Life.

I know, it is mating time. Spring is knocking on the door and basic instincts are kicking in. Wait a minute, aren’t we the intelligent kind and not animals? Right…sorry, forgot about that. Also, it is Calgary and we have only 2 seasons: winter and summer. It is not summer, so…it is still me, not the World.

I am standing in the hallway at work, looking at the EXIT sign and thinking – the hell with …with…whatever it is. Then I smiled because I remembered Liz’s post “own your moments.”

This is a paragraph that caught my eye:

“….you know, life is not easy. obstacles and difficulties and fears creep into our sunny days and make us want to give up. and then there are the days that we just want to hide under the covers. we wonder what the point is. or if we will ever feel good again. sometimes it just feels really tough and really hard and really lonely. it’s easy for me to get caught in these feelings actually. especially when life isn’t giving me exactly what i had planned, or when i simply feel exhausted and uninspired….”

OWN YOUR MOMENTS – what an amazing statement, which basically says  – live right here, right now, and if you do not like the moment you are in, change it. There is always an exit that you can take. And, honestly, you can take an exit to whatever or wherever you please. There are no limitations except the ones in your head.

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Alex

Love of my life…that was the original title of the blog post but then I realized that I have a few of those and it didn’t seem appropriate to post just about one of them. So, we ended up with “Oh, those Fluffies”.

I was going through my wordpress reader and got inspired by a post from Sheri on her 27 year journey with her cat Morti.  It is amazing when you have a pet around for so long. The connection you have with it is something you can’t even describe.

We got Alex when she was 5 years old and she turned out to be the coolest cat ever. You would think that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Guess what!  It was a cat and, yes, we taught her new tricks.

She sits, she rolls over, she listens to “no”, she fetches (on her own terms), she comes when you call her, and she tells you what’s on her mind.

This little fluffy taught me about life more than interaction with humans. When I look back at our life together and lessons that we both learned, I am in awe of how amazing it has been.

- Never give up and be persistent
- New things in your life can be scary but once you think about it, they bring new experiences and new excitement
- Don’t let life’s beating keep you down. Get up, shake it off and continue like nothing has happened
- Always live with a conviction that you rule the world
- Hiss at changes, look straight them in the face, lift your tail high, and stand your ground
- Don’t be afraid to trust people you love and let go of control
- When you trip in your own litter box that’s bigger than life and come out with your head covered in litter, behave like it is a new trend and like you have no clue what happened (see the photo)
- When something amazing comes into your life, drop everything you do and enjoy it like those are last moments of your life
- When you are happy, make sure everyone knows it and wants it too
- Even when you are not feeling well, show love to those who matter
- Be optimistic in situation that you know are hopeless
-  Change things and make everyone else guess what the hell you are up to now
- When somebody has decided that they know you, boxed you in their little world of labels, do something that is opposite to what is expected of you.
- Never allow somebody to define who you are according to their view of the world

I could go on and on and brag about the fact that I have the most amazing cat in the world but I also know that we all have either the most amazing cat or dog or mouse or snake or neighbor or partner.

What matters is that we open up our hearts and never stop learning from each other.

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The World is not broken, it is perfect the way it is – said my partner and walked out of the coffee shop. Some people understand that and some don’t.

Once a person accepts the fact that we all are perfect the way we are and there is nothing to fix or improve, life is much more enjoyable.  I am not talking about standing still and I am not talking about doing absolutely nothing about things you think or feel might need to be different.

I am talking about a simple thing – we are perfectly imperfect and you should change or make an effort to do something only when it comes to your awareness and you are inspired to do something. If whatever you change comes easy and feels right, then the change is good.

However, if you are changing because you think you need to follow the trend, you need to conform to standards, you feel like that is what you need to be happy or you think that you need to do something to fit in, to do the right thing, to be normal, to be understood and accepted, then this change is not going to do any good neither to you or somebody else.

There is a huge difference between “I think” and “I feel”. I think is based on beliefs and I feel is based on your soul that knows.

When you change inside, you change the way you see the world and you change the world around you.  The world doesn’t need fixing. You do not need fixing.