Tag Archive | Make A Difference

The Day You Made a Difference

canada_flag_maple_leaf_o_canada_nation_symbol_icon_rackcard-rb4a31653804f4da5a4c52b4238ceaffe_vgvr1_8byvr_512Everybody is running around looking for something. Some want more money, some want fame, some want to be respected, and some just want to be useful at the right time.

What is the day you make a difference? It is a day when you finally do something for yourself regardless your beliefs, regardless people’s opinion, regardless if it’s right or wrong . Something that might not be a huge deal on somebody’s scale but is a turning point in your life.

No, it is not a huge milestone in your life, it is not a life changing / altering decision, and no, it is not something you have done just because you knew is right.

I don’t actually know what that is for you. There is always something that has been nagging you deep inside. That voice that never puts feelings into words, that voice that just randomly shows up in most random situations….Most of the time it is the most ridiculous thing that some people will not understand.

I have had two days in my life when I made a somewhat random choice and I made a difference in my life.

One day I was coming from work. I was walking to the train station as I had done a thousand times before. But that day I did something that I would normally not do. I turned around and walked into Tim Horton’s. I bought a soup, a sandwich, and a cup of coffee . I walked out, scanned the area and then I walked across the street and stopped in front of a homeless woman. She was reading a book and once in a while checked on her cat in a baby stroller.

I had seen that woman every working day for the last two years. That day was a day I was about to make a difference in my life. I stopped in front of her and asked what her name was. As she shrunk on the bench thinking that I will ask her to leave (she was sitting in front of one of the business buildings), she mumbled – “Marry”. “Marry, um….”, I said, “…will you get angry at me if I buy you dinner?”.  She looked at me and smiled. I gave her my purchase and thanked her, and just walked away.

It was not about feeding the homeless woman. It was not about doing the right thing. It was not about empathy or reaching out to someone who needed my help. I did what I did not because it was right but because I felt like doing it. I just did it and walked away. That day I did not do a good deed. I just changed the way I was. And, no, I did not go on a mission to save my soul or to change the world for the best as I was inspired to do so.

As our world is based on our perception and we see what we choose to see, it is not about the people who need our help, it is about us who need those people in our lives to help us see the path we walk.

The other day when I made a difference was today. I passed the Canadian Citizenship test. I didn’t think much of anything while preparing for it. I didn’t think much when I found out that I passed.

However, when I walked out of the building, I was different.  And again, no, it wasn’t because in a couple of weeks I will get an official certificate that will grant me the citizenship of the most amazing country and, no, it was not because I will officially be considered a citizen of a country that respects me as a woman, as a lesbian, and as a human being. It was because this was a day I made a difference in my own life. How and what – doesn’t matter. It is just a path that I chose to walk.

It is hard to explain. It is not about being more or less. It is not about having more or less. And it is not about being or not being something. And it is not about being thankful or feeling equal or feeling deserving.

It was the day that felt just right. The day that I do not necessarily have to share with others to enjoy. I looked around and everything suddenly felt different and only I knew about it.  It could have been a day that I picked up a lonely rock laying on the pavement.

That is a feeling that you suddenly get, that deep overwhelming feeling of just being. And, yes, that is the day that you made a difference in your own life.

Blogging To Make a Difference

confused and agitated“..if I have made you uncomfortable, mad, confused, and maybe even agitated, then I have done a great job..” – these words are like music to my ears especially if those words are addressed to myself.

Some people ask me why I blog. Hell, sometimes I ask myself why I do it. And the answer is as simple as it gets – I blog for myself. I make a difference in my own life.

Yes, I could write a journal and be happy. No, not really! I want myself to be uncomfortable and I want myself to be agitated as that is the way I grow.

People stop by, they agree or do not agree with the way I see my world. They leave a comment, they write me a personal note, they challenge me and they show me a different perspective.

As this world runs on synergy – we are all connected. I have something to say and there is somebody out there who needs to hear it, and vice versa.

So… I blog to make a difference in my own life and those around me.

Word Of the Day – Hands

holding_hands-1418

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures,  have chosen rather to share our pain
and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
 Henri Nouwen

Everyone Has a Story

This saying reminded me of so many people I have met throughout my life and it made me smile. Life is so amazing and people whose paths have crossed mine are even more amazing.

It reminded me of times when I judged someone without knowing them and then feeling like s**t when I got to know them and learned their story. Judgment is such a slippery slope as it is so easy to go down that road. 

You can’t change life and its sudden turns but you can change how you go through life and how you accept whatever comes your way – every event, every opportunity, every person…

I now I have probably already said something like that before but, honestly, every person who has come into my life and left either painful or joyful memories have made me who I am today. 

We learn through experiences and life is great at giving us all kinds of spectrums. Sometimes it is painful, sometimes it is joyful, and sometimes you just want to close your eyes and disappear. 
And when you meet somebody, they also come with a story that might just blow your mind.
Don’t be too quick to judge by their appearance or first impression as there is a chance that this person came into your life to change it….

The only disability in life is a bad attitude

Nic Vujicic

Before you get all puffed up and give me a lecture on people with disabilities and call me ignorant, let’s take a look at what the disability is:

“…Disability is an umbrella term, covering impairments, activity limitations, and participation restrictions…”

Doesn’t that sound interesting?  What this definition means is that there are two kind of people :

– people who have two arms, two legs, vision, hearing, and thinking that allows them to perform duties that somehow benefit the society

– and then there are people who are missing something and can’t do things to make my or somebody else’s life better.

In other words, disability is a term that is invented by egotistical self-centered people who are so absorbed with their own well-being that everybody else who can’t do things and contribute to make this well oiled “life machine” work for everybody equally is considered disabled.

This whole world is built around 80% of society with arms, legs, eyes, ears, ability to count, write papers, cook and clean, and build buildings. In other words, we are all able but not all of us are capable to do all of the jobs but we are still considered “NORMAL”. And then there is this other part of the society that is slower, that maybe can’t  use both hands or legs or can’t do math, or is somehow not functioning like majority and that is called disability.

However, my dear friend, is that really a disability just because they can’t contribute and participate in this conveyor of life? Do we have to look at them with pity and treat them like they are less of something, like they are less of a human being, like they can’t enjoy life like everybody else?

The truth is, they are not disabled, they are differently- abled. They are perfect the way they are, they are unique, they have their own ability, their own uniqueness, their own purpose in this life. Yes, maybe somebody needs to work to give them the ability to live among us, ant colony, just because we are so rigid in our thinking that we do not embrace every aspect of human existence.

If we would build this world not catering to majority but build it for everybody and embrace uniqueness, then there would not be any disabilities, there would be just abilities and walking breathing geniuses.

We make these people feel like they are less, we make them feel like there is something wrong with them. We treat them like a burden, we feel sorry for them because they are not like us. But does that really mean that we are these superior beings to be compared to?

It just really makes me mad when we create labels, judge people, categorize, make them feel different and less able when it actually is us who are narrow-minded, stuck and disabled as we can’t even think for ourselves.

Oscar Pistorius

So, back to my point, there is no disability, there is just a bad attitude. Look at paralympians. Can you do what they do?
Not that they play hockey without legs, play basketball in a wheelchair, run while totally blind, ski down the hill on one leg, and swim without extremities. Who the hell is disabled? I can’t even swim with both arms and legs. I can’t play hockey and God forbid to let me go down the hill on skis. Those people learned to adjust to OUR world that we created egotistically thinking only about the majority of this society and in addition to that we then labeled everyone else – disabled.

I am ashamed of myself and I am ashamed of human beings that I live among.

“Preventing the Tragedy of LGBT Youth Homelessness.”

I think this is a good message to pass on.  Youth homelessness, either LGBT or straight, is something of a concern and should be talked about.  As more you talk, as more people hear. As more people hear, as more they are aware. And as more they are aware, as better chances we have for a change.

Preventing the Tragedy of LGBT Youth Homelessness

Via Social Work License Map and MSW@USC

Living on the streets can be difficult on many levels and many runaways and homeless youth, including LGBT, live not just on the streets but you can say that sometimes at the intersection of a dangerous crossroad. Discrimination, sexual, physical and verbal abuse based on sexual orientation, race, gender, gender expression, and age.
As a society we ignore these intersections not only at our own peril but at the peril of the lives of thousands of out-of-home straight and LGBT youth.

A Letter To My Dad

Many years have passed by since I have spoken to you. Isn’t it sad that the father’s day is the only thing that reminds me of you?

Honestly, I have wished so many times that I had a father that I could love and respect, a father that made me smile, a father that held my hand and said that everything would be alright when it felt like the earth was tumbling under my feet.

I hear my friends talk about their amazing fathers, I see my friends being amazing fathers, and I wish I had experienced a glimpse of what it would feel to have one.

I am not sad and I am not angry as you did what you thought was right. You didn’t even know how to live your own life without hurting yourself and people around you. I guess you didn’t know what it meant to love and you were so lost in your own feelings that everybody else was just in your way of self-distraction.  It was never about me as it was always about you and your pain…

However, as today is a father’s day, I would like to thank you for playing such an important role in my life. You taught me, how not to grow up an angry person. You taught me compassion and understanding. You taught me that violence is not an answer and that nobody has a right to hurt others just because they do not know how to handle their pain. As you were everything that I did not want to become, you were a great role model to me.  You hurt me and messed me up so I can become a better person, so I can be somebody you would never become.

You were a huge part of my life for so many years, and you were such an inspiration. I learned at an early age that if I wanted to be happy, I just needed to let go and face my fears instead of running from them. I learned that pain is a good thing – it shows you that you are alive and that you are still breathing and it makes you understand that life is what you make of it.

You have a choice – to live and enjoy the journey or to waste your life living in the past judging everybody and everything.

Animals or Humans?

A friend of mine was asked a question: “If you had to choose between either your animals or your boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband, what would you choose?”

I was thinking, if that is wrong if I prefer animals over people? If I have to choose between a cat or a dog and a human being, I would choose an animal. I know, sounds wrong…but I honestly feel more compelled to choose a cat over a human being.

People make choices, people have a voice, they can verbalize and ask for help. They can take care of themselves. People have hidden agendas, they are fake, they pretend, they lie, they back stab, and their love always have conditions. Their choices are based on benefits that they might get out of the situation.

Animals, on the other hand, always kill out of necessity. They can’t speak up or verbalize abuse. However, their love is unconditional and their ability to forget the wrong doing and trust humans is amazing. They never back stab you, they never have hidden agendas. What you see is what you get. They don’t hold a grudge, they love with all their hearts, they live right here right now.

Animals respect Mother Nature. Most of the human race doesn’t. Animals take what is needed for their survival, humans kill for fun. Humans mostly murder either because they want something or they enjoy it.  Animals kill to protect or to feed.

I come home to a cat and see an unconditional love and trust. I know that she trusts that I will not harm her and that I will do whatever I can to take care of her. There are no expectations and there is no agenda.

I have had discussions about intelligence versus basic instincts. People have mentioned children, battered women, kind and respecting people, tree hugers, and etc.

I love my friends, I respect people who do an amazing job protecting Mother Nature and fighting for human and animal rights.  However, no matter how I look at it, I still choose animals over humans.

Is that wrong?

Live for YourSelf or Live For Others

Don’t you think that we were born to live and not to exist? It happens way too often that we go through life like we are on autopilot. We go through these periods of time when day after day passes by the same way.

We are way too comfortable and we realize that we have gone through another year without having done anything.  Actually, we come to a realization that we have not really lived.

One or two years – nothing to worry about, but when you reach certain age and you look back on life with regrets, not so good. That’s fine, until you see your friend’s kids go off to college, you might feel that you have missed something.

If you want to truly live your life, experience, and enjoy it to the full extent, instead of barely getting by or just existing, then you need to find a way to let go of all the beliefs and convictions you have.

If you live your life worrying if you are living up to expectations, if you are letting down your parents, if you are doing the right thing,  if you have become somebody that other people approve of, then you are not living. You are trying to be somebody that other people think you should be.  That means that you live your life for others, you live to make them happy.

What makes you happy? What makes your heart skip a beat? Do you live for yourself or you live for others?

 

That Time of the Year

It is that time of the year when we take time to think about family and about people around us.  Silly, but true.  Why would Thanks Giving and Christmas be so much different from the rest of the year? Why do we become more emotional, more sensitive, more generous, more empathetic and more giving?

I look at myself and shake my head.  I think of people who matter to me.  I think of people who played a significant role in my life but are not with us anymore.  I think of people who might become dear to my heart. Why don’t I think about them so much during the year? Why now?

We all know that these holidays are commercialized and emphasis is on sales and gift giving.  Is this “becoming soft” feeling artificially created or there is something to it?

%d bloggers like this: