Tag Archive | Follow your dreams

5 Regrets Of The Dying

life before deathWe live our lives day in day out taking one step at a time closer to the end. Some choose not to think about it, some embrace the thought and some freak out. No matter what you do, you will die, and the sooner you accept the fact that this is all you’ve got, the better chances of not wasting your life you have.

Bronnie Ware wrote an article in 2012 about people and their regrets after they were sent home to die. It is worth re-posting and reminding people that the right time is now. Not tomorrow, not in a week, but right here, right now….

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

Credit: huffingtonpost.com

Shoes…

Courtesy of MyShoesMyJourney

There is a saying: “…do not judge unless you walked a mile in that person’s shoes…” . We all know the saying, we all understand it but only a few live by it.

How many of us have thought to apply the same principle when it comes to our lives? Step back and take a look at the journey through somebody else’s eyes.  It is a journey that you have taken to get here and it is a journey that you are on right now.

When you step back and forget all the rush, all the urgency, all pressing needs to take care of, all offenses, all the pain and hurt, all worries, you might see… You might see an amazing picture.

I am talking about reflecting back on everything you have experienced, every choice you made, every road you took, every chance you used, every chance that you allowed to slip by because you were afraid, every person you met, every person you lost, and the person you have become because of all previously mentioned.

Allow yourself to appreciate the journey that you have been on and open up to new adventures. Not that it will get better or worse but it will definitely bring new things – new awareness, new appreciation, new excitement…

You know that there are people out there that admire everything you have achieved and would love to have even a little piece of what you’ve got.  Yes, all your mistakes, all your failures, all your heart breaks, all your happiness.

That is why I suggest that you step back and look at yourself through somebody else’s eyes….You might even like what you see…

You Will Always Lose

PicardWhatIsThisStuffyou will always lose if you let other people to define what your happiness looks like.

you will always lose if you let other people define your choices.

you will always lose if you let other people to tell you who you should be.

you will always lose if your happiness depends on someones approval.

you will always lose if you follow somebody else’s dreams.

you will always lose if you do not trust your own judgement and seek other people’s guidance.

you will always lose if you choose fitting in over your dreams.

you will always lose if you allow your fears dictate your choices.

you will always lose if you hesitate to pick yourself over others.

you will always lose if you do not listen to your heart.

you will always lose if you are afraid to speak up when it really matters to you.

you will always lose if you are afraid to stand up for what is right.

you will always lose if you choose somebody else’s happiness over yours.

you will always lose if you lie to yourself instead of facing the truth.

you will always lose if you believe that you will live forever and have time to be happy later.

you will always lose if you judge everyone and everything.

you will always lose if you try to control your life instead of going with the flow of life.

you will always lose if you believe everything that others state to be true.

you will always lose if you do not question your believes.

you will always lose if you stop asking questions – “What is real?” and “Is this true for everybody?”

you will always lose if you believer that you are not worthy.

you will always lose if you believe that this world is real.

Things You Should Know

– The world is round but it doesn’t revolve around your EGO. However, it does revolve around your dreams. The whole world is a river of resources and all you need to do is  to use them to make your dreams come true.

– You will die no matter how much you ignore that fact. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is – are you living right now? Are you enjoying life?

– Most likely there is no God and you will cease to exist, and you probably are lying to yourself about all of it.   However, it also doesn’t matter because what other people think is irrelevant. What matters is – do you believe and do you choose to believe? It doesn’t matter if people agree or disagree. If faith or lack of it is something that you choose for yourself, then that is more important than the actual truth. You will or will not find out after your death, so why stress about it?

– Truth doesn’t matter. It doesn’t because it is different for everyone. It is your perception and how you see or interpret things that makes something true or not true. What matters is – what you do with what you got and how you make it work.

– You can agree to disagree.  You can both be right and there is nothing wrong with that.

– There are questions that will never be answered and there are things you will never find out.

– Past will not come around again, so there is no way you can change what happened. Move on!

– If you are making timelines for your life, you are wasting your time. You know better than anyone else – nothing ever happens how you imagined it would.  By the time you get there your plans have already changed. Go with the flow and enjoy it.

– No, you do not have to…whatever that is. Remember, you always have a choice.

– Everything is but a dream. You never know if you are asleep or awake.   Think about it! It is not real.

Surround Yourself With…

wise personAs I do often, I was going through my “to read” blogs and something caught my eye. It was a very short post by Carly about surrounding yourself with people who share not just your laughter but also tears.

It reminded me that we do have a choice what people we invite in our lives. We often want to keep those people who do not bring anything positive. We keep hoping that things will change or that a miracle will happen. Yes, we can change the way our lives go as we have choices to make.

Yes, maybe your parents are something that you want to keep in your life and maybe that one special friend that you had for years would be a great asset but remember – things change and quiet often not for good.

If parents do not love you for who you are, if their love is conditional and comes with their rules – we love you but not the gay in you, maybe you should just let them be. If a friend that you trusted, loved and respected, turns his/her back just because you are different, then he or she was never your true friend.

There are so many wonderful people who will love you for who you are, who will encourage you to be the best you can be, who will celebrate your successes and support you when things are not going well.

There are people who would die for your friendship and who will be there to hold your hand when your heart skips a beat, who will laugh when you trip but will help you to get up.

You have to choose yourself over those people who do not deserve you in their lives. You should still respect them for who they are and for their choices but you do not have to give up your happiness and your life for what they believe in or for what they hate.

So, let’s start the New Year with a resolution to be happy and to let people be who they are.

Travel Confessions: Down the Memory Lane

There are so many great memories about places I have visited and even greater memories of people I have met. How do you do justice and pay respect to these memories without leaving something out?

So, I have decided to walk down the memory lane. I was born and raised in Latvia. In my early 20’s I traveled across the ocean to see the world and did not return. I have been back to Latvia a few times since then but a few years ago, for the first time, I went there as a tourist. I did not go home to visit. I went to see places and remind myself about my roots and the beauty of that wonderful little country.

The moment I stepped off the plane I was carried away by a smell of jasmine and linden tree flowers that together make your head spin. That is a divine aroma.  It is hard to explain, you just have to go there at the end of June and experience it yourself.

Kolka, The Baltic Sea

The Baltic Sea has amazing man untouched wild beaches. You can walk for miles on the beach and not meet a soul. It is emotionally and physically refreshing.  I felt that little inner child wake up and embrace the day the way it was – perfect.  No sounds of cars, no people, no noises that distract you from hearing yourself.  I was walking on the beach to the sound of my beating heart.

The Baltic Sea

I didn’t expect anything, I was not in a rush to get anywhere, and The Mother Nature just sent me the most beautiful thing – a swan. It is one of the most graceful birds in Europe. I know, I know – I will go all sentimental on you here but looking at this bird made me think about the beauty of our existence. I have so many wonderful friends that I have met over the years. Some of them are just virtual and some of them I had a chance to meet but every single one of them is beautiful inside out.  And think about how many people we still have to meet! How many are out there that could take our breath away?

USSR garages

A few days later we were wondering through a small town where my friend lives. I couldn’t take my eyes off some old falling apart buildings, garages, and some other structures that were left behind as the Legacy of the USSR.  It all might look broken and old, and quite disturbing but to me it was a little reminder of my childhood, sports I played, games I enjoyed, buildings I used to hide behind.

Geocaching in the Wild

We also went gocaching with some friends and ended up exploring ruins, abandoned houses, crawled underneath train tracks (don’t tell my mother), walked on rotten bridges, and wondered in a deep grass.  This was my homeland and I fell in love with it again. It wasn’t my home but it was a place I loved deeply in my heart, never forgot and never will forget.

Summer Solstice in Pedvale, Latvia

I know that I will be back as I still have a very deep connection with this country. You can’t forget lakes, forests, flowers and the Baltic Sea that echoes in you every time you are somewhere by the water.

I know this is one of those tagging things that have rules. Somebody tags me and I have to pass it on and nominate a few others. However, I feel bad about putting people on the spot.

First, thank you, Liz, for posting your amazing travel confession and then encouraging me to follow through with this.

I have three people that I know have so much to say about traveling and confessions, maybe not both at the same time but… I will leave it up to them to post or not post a travel confession.

Rules:

Post a photo (or photos) and description(s) of your confession(s) in a new post.
Tweet your post with hashtag #TravelConfession and follow/tweet @Traveling9to5
Tag 3-5 other travelers you’d love to see confess and tag them on Twitter.

Carolyn – she is an awesome person. Sometimes I think she knows my struggles and posts about them. I just love reading her reflections

Lois – she has been an amazing inspiration in my life. She is my virtual friend but I believe that one day we will meet in person and I will be swept off my feet.

Independent – I hope he will post in English. I have been reading his blog for so many years and he never stops amazing me.

Living In The Moment

Doesn’t it sometimes feel that you keep chasing this moment but never seem to catch up and be able to hold on to it for long? Maybe it is because there is no such a thing as MOMENT. Maybe all you need to do is just eat that damn cookie. And while you eat it realize that this is it – that is the moment right here right now experiencing whatever comes.

And maybe you should look around yourself and have that realization that there is never going to be the state of – I will save the world or I will be loved by everyone, I will be respected by everyone and I will be accepted by everyone.

No matter how you look, there has never been peace or power or any possibility in blame, anger, feeling sorry for yourself or resentment.

So, I am just sitting here and eating my cookie

The only disability in life is a bad attitude

Nic Vujicic

Before you get all puffed up and give me a lecture on people with disabilities and call me ignorant, let’s take a look at what the disability is:

“…Disability is an umbrella term, covering impairments, activity limitations, and participation restrictions…”

Doesn’t that sound interesting?  What this definition means is that there are two kind of people :

– people who have two arms, two legs, vision, hearing, and thinking that allows them to perform duties that somehow benefit the society

– and then there are people who are missing something and can’t do things to make my or somebody else’s life better.

In other words, disability is a term that is invented by egotistical self-centered people who are so absorbed with their own well-being that everybody else who can’t do things and contribute to make this well oiled “life machine” work for everybody equally is considered disabled.

This whole world is built around 80% of society with arms, legs, eyes, ears, ability to count, write papers, cook and clean, and build buildings. In other words, we are all able but not all of us are capable to do all of the jobs but we are still considered “NORMAL”. And then there is this other part of the society that is slower, that maybe can’t  use both hands or legs or can’t do math, or is somehow not functioning like majority and that is called disability.

However, my dear friend, is that really a disability just because they can’t contribute and participate in this conveyor of life? Do we have to look at them with pity and treat them like they are less of something, like they are less of a human being, like they can’t enjoy life like everybody else?

The truth is, they are not disabled, they are differently- abled. They are perfect the way they are, they are unique, they have their own ability, their own uniqueness, their own purpose in this life. Yes, maybe somebody needs to work to give them the ability to live among us, ant colony, just because we are so rigid in our thinking that we do not embrace every aspect of human existence.

If we would build this world not catering to majority but build it for everybody and embrace uniqueness, then there would not be any disabilities, there would be just abilities and walking breathing geniuses.

We make these people feel like they are less, we make them feel like there is something wrong with them. We treat them like a burden, we feel sorry for them because they are not like us. But does that really mean that we are these superior beings to be compared to?

It just really makes me mad when we create labels, judge people, categorize, make them feel different and less able when it actually is us who are narrow-minded, stuck and disabled as we can’t even think for ourselves.

Oscar Pistorius

So, back to my point, there is no disability, there is just a bad attitude. Look at paralympians. Can you do what they do?
Not that they play hockey without legs, play basketball in a wheelchair, run while totally blind, ski down the hill on one leg, and swim without extremities. Who the hell is disabled? I can’t even swim with both arms and legs. I can’t play hockey and God forbid to let me go down the hill on skis. Those people learned to adjust to OUR world that we created egotistically thinking only about the majority of this society and in addition to that we then labeled everyone else – disabled.

I am ashamed of myself and I am ashamed of human beings that I live among.

Forgive and You Will Live

Hate will give you a reason to go on and do things but when you forgive, you have a chance to live your life to the fullest.

So many books and websites created by authors, religious folks, poets, and just smart people, talking about how hate messes things up and how forgiveness brings pure bliss.

However, just stripping it down to the core- whatever you feel, is a limitation, and whatever you hold on to, is a limitation that keeps you away from living your life.

Forgiveness just means letting go! Letting go of everything that potentially keeps you away from doing things you love and enjoy. Letting go just means – being able to live without conditions, without hang ups, without expectations, and without set backs created by you!

Some people hate you? So what! It is them, not you, who can’t sleep. It is them, not you, who have to think about how much they hate you and how much you make their lives miserable.
You go on and live your life reaching for your dreams and making them come true.

Who is left behind? And why would you even care if someone hates you for reasons known only to them? Who is going to have a better life you or them?

That Time of the Year

It is that time of the year when we take time to think about family and about people around us.  Silly, but true.  Why would Thanks Giving and Christmas be so much different from the rest of the year? Why do we become more emotional, more sensitive, more generous, more empathetic and more giving?

I look at myself and shake my head.  I think of people who matter to me.  I think of people who played a significant role in my life but are not with us anymore.  I think of people who might become dear to my heart. Why don’t I think about them so much during the year? Why now?

We all know that these holidays are commercialized and emphasis is on sales and gift giving.  Is this “becoming soft” feeling artificially created or there is something to it?

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