Tag Archive | Be the change

The Worst Day Ever

grumpy cat“The worst day ever…” – you hear it on the street, you hear it at work, you hear it at home, and sometimes you say it yourself.

Being late for work is not the worst day ever. The store is out of milk, still not considered to be the worst day ever. Ok, ok….you miss your plane. Still not the worst day ever. A very bad day but not the worst.

Maybe losing your car keys are the worst thing that has happened to you so far, but it is definitely not the worst day ever.

I think we all need to stop and think about words that we choose to describe a setback or an inconvenience. We are so immersed in a world of nonsense and small inconveniences that we forget things that actually matter.

There is only one thing that makes it the worst the day – the death of somebody you loved with all you heart.  You either knew it was coming or  it just happened suddenly. The worst nightmare ever is to receive the call you don’t wish onto anybody.

There are a lot of things (being raped, being assaulted) that are horrible but losing the love of your life – be it your child, your husband, your wife, your parents, your sibling or your pet, is something you can’t ever recover from.

So, please do not say that you had the worst day ever just because you broke your nail or your favorite soccer / football team lost a game.

He Beat Me Up Pretty Good

wp-1461293685173.jpgToday I was reminded that there is so much evil in the world I live in.  Not that I didn’t know or wasn’t aware but just, as always, when something happens right in your face, you are forced to acknowledge the fact and face it.

“So many heartless people”, I thought to myself as I was bleeding in my basement.  You think you know somebody but, most likely, you don’t.

Sometimes you might wonder, how come for every 10 good people, there is this one who doesn’t deserve to be called  “human”.

Today I was reminded again what unconditional love is. I saw terror in my little boy’s eyes when he scratched me to get away from bad memories, bad experience, the terror that a harmless folded carpet reminded him of.

It doesn’t take a university degree to figure out – somebody had hurt him before he came to our house. My eyes teared up.  Not from deep bloody wounds in my forearms but from a thought about what could have happened to my little kitty to make him so skittish.

Cats love tunnels and boxes but my boy is avoiding most of them or is extremely cautious and never fully gets in if the box is tight or if you try to put him in there.

I know, karma is a bitch and I can fully rely on her to pay back with all the goodness she can come up with to repay for whatever the person did to him. My bloody arms are just a reminder to love and give him a safe place to grow old. We will figure this out and put it behind us.

My boy might have beaten me up pretty good and he might have made me bleed but he also reminded me that I have a choice – to become a part of the solution by not turning a blind eye.

My boy also reminded me that there are people out there who will inflict pain onto others to get away from their own internal pain and there are people out there who enjoy hurting animals and people because they get joy out of it.

Even though my first reaction is anger, I choose to rely on Karma to figure out who deserves what because I do not have time to hate and waste my precious life  on people like that. I have better things to do. Things like earning trust and love of my little boy and sharing precious moments of my life with him and his adoptive sister.

I could waste my life by focusing on anger and that way also waste my TODAY. I choose to let go of the past and build a better future by living every moment today.

There are other good people who will come for those who deserve to be punished for their wrong doings and animal abuse.

The Grass Is Greener….Nowhere

grasIt always seems that the grass is greener everywhere else. The moment you move to that greener patch, you realize it is not as green as seemed and maybe even worse than where you were before.

I guess, it has been passed on from generation to generation that you need to want more than you have. Nobody can explain why but everyone knows that settling is basically admitting defeat.

Of course, we all have dreams and things we may want to do or achieve but sometimes those dreams are not ours. They are there because we live in an illusionary world that the grass is greener somewhere else.  Sometimes those are just excuses that we make.

  • if I had parents like Joe does, I would have been more family oriented
  • if I had a better car, I would have traveled more
  • if I could afford a bigger house, I would have started a family
  • if I had more money, I would have invested and be rich.

“If I only….” is the best excuse that a humankind has invented. Let’s look at it from a different angle.

If you had parents like Joe, you would be beaten every day just because you exist. Just because his parents were always around and always waved at you from their back yard, doesn’t mean that they were perfect. You are were you are because your parents worked 2 jobs to be able to send you to college. Your Joe ended up doing drugs and died on the street because he couldn’t cope with abusive parents.

If you had a better car, you would have not traveled more. You do not need a better car, you need to save your money and budget better. A better car has never been a major reason somebody couldn’t travel as there are other ways to do it.

And this goes on and on. You can do whatever you want with your life. However, sometimes it works out and sometimes it is just not supposed happen. So, stop trying to open the door that is locked and look around, there might be another door that is available.

No, this is not about the lie that you have heard – as harder you work, as faster you will achieve what you want. Sometimes stuff just doesn’t happen. And sometimes your dreams are just a lie that you tell yourself to find an excuse not to do something.

The grass is never greener somewhere else. The grass is green where you are. You can make it greener by taking your own path.  Sometimes that path takes you down the rabbit hole where it is dark and scary but nevertheless exciting.

Once you learn to accept what you have and go with the flow of life, you put an end to drama. After all, life is an adventure and not a curse.

Enough Is Enough…


Courtesy of Askmissa.com

Do you have a parent or a family member or a friend that brings nothing but a bad energy into your life? You know, one of those people who is always blaming everyone else. One of those people who always bullies, shames, and puts you down.

That one person whom you love but definitely try to avoid because it always ends up to be not just an uncomfortable experience but also a reason why you sometimes doubt if you are who you think you are.

Most of the time those who bully or hurt others are hurting inside themselves and putting it out on somebody else is the only way they know how to cope with their own pain. You might think it is silly, but that is so real and so true for many people.

When one does not know how to deal with their own pain, they lash out. However, just because they are in pain, you do not have to accept their behavior. You do not have to put up with that. Remember, you always have a choice.

You can’t save the world, but you can definitely choose people you want in it. Family is the one you choose and home is where you make it.

Life is complicated enough so you should not allow somebody to steer it direction you do not want to go. Regardless if they are considered family or not.

We spend every day trying to maneuver between possible and impossible,  real and perception, dreams and reality, wishes and desires, fears and courage, and we do not have time to waste trying to deal with people who build roadblocks for themselves and others around them.

Life is enjoyable and full of wonders. It is an amazing journey and not an obstacle course that is created by somebody else, even if that somebody else has given you life.

Smile and they will come

Courtesy Of Google Images

Courtesy Of Google Images

I was watching people at work and at the end of the day I confirmed what is a well-known knowledge. This well-known knowledge is forgotten and maybe sometimes ignored.

Let me do a quick introduction before I tell you what it is.

There are 3 kind of people in your life:

  1. People that you like or are drawn to
  2. People that you do not like or barely tolerate
  3. People that you do not remember/notice or, so called, invisible people

There is only one thing in common or different about these people.

When you meet somebody, it takes you only a few seconds either to like them on not like them or not care for them.

Most of the time it is their personality. I do not mean their values or beliefs or convictions. They do not even need to talk.

I am talking about smiling and having a positive presence about them. The more you smile, the more open you are, the more relaxed is your non-verbal communication.

You feel attracted to positive, smiling people and you tend to avoid angry, scowling or tensed up people.

All it takes is some sense of humor and a genuine smile. No kidding. Start smiling. Find something funny in your head and start smiling.

Once you start smiling, you will infect other people and they will come back for more.

That Day Will Come

That day will definitely come when you have to make a choice to:

– live for yourself or live for others
– to accept or not accept a simple truth that It Is What It Is
– keep going down the path you have been struggling on or take a leap of faith and do something different
– be happy or be a victim

Life is not complicated even though most of the time it is hard to explain your choices. It is never about it being complicated, it is always about you making it complicated.


This post is dedicated to one of my friends who might or might not be ready to hear this. I will post it anyways. I feel that it is the right time and the right place.

You know how sometimes it seems that your life is like a rollercoaster? It goes up and down and never goes back to normal? Even if sometimes it seems that you have somehow figured out how to handle life and yourself in it, one morning you wake up and, it seems that somehow while you were sleeping, your life just plummeted into a downward spiral. It might happen frequently and it may take some time between the ups and downs, but you know exactly what I mean. It goes from a harmony to an emotional hell without a reason.

You live your life trying to understand the world, people in it, yourself, and your place in this world, but somehow it just doesn’t make sense. Sometimes, when you are amongst your friends, you laugh, you goof around, and you feel like you fit in, but sometimes you are amongst them and it feels like you are from a different planet. And it is not about your friends accepting you for who you are or loving you unconditionally. You know they love you and accept you. It is about you and the feeling that you have. That feeling that you just do not belong. That there is something else. Something bigger. You just can’t put a finger on it.

There is this void, this unbearable feeling that you can’t explain. It just seems that you do not belong…you are just different. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to find anything in common with other people. You see the world and you see yourself, and it just doesn’t add up.

If you read this and it resonates with you, you might be standing on a border of crossing over.  Crossing over where or what?

I will have to use a hamster analogy to explain. We, human beings, are like hamsters in a cage with a wheel. We live our lives thinking that the cage and getting in that wheel to spin (for as long as we can) is the purpose of our lives.

As humans we think that our purpose is to get education, get a good job, get married, maybe start a family, have a career, and contribute to the society. We live and breathe that conviction (spinning the wheel).

It is like a hamster who gets in a wheel and runs in it. When you look around, what you see is – a whole bunch of hamsters who teach other hamsters on how to get in that wheel and spin for a long time because that is what you are supposed to do.

Family, friends, media, books, and TV share pointers and thoughts on how to be happy on how to get the best job ever, how to start a family, how to meet your soulmate, and how to find THE MEANING of your life..and etc. Meaning – how to jump into a wheel, how to pace yourself, how to breathe, how to use legs, and how to master that wheel we are spinning in. There are hamsters  (leaders, churches, gurus) that seem have figured out the wheel and how to do it right. They are heroes because life is about spinning the wheel and they can do it longer then everybody else.

Yes, you might trip and you might get thrown out of that wheel, but you get up, get in line again with other hamsters and listen, learn, master your thoughts, and when you get to that wheel for the second or third or hundreds time, you have a whole bunch of new techniques to apply. Family, community, different state/province, and different religion is just a different way of thinking on how to spin the wheel.  It seems that this time you got it but then suddenly you still get thrown out of the wheel. You get the feeling of euphoria and then you receive a cold shower and you have no clue why. You are following the best, you are applying their techniques, their approach, and should be succeeding, but it never works out.

When you look around, you might notice that there are other hamsters that behave differently – the odd balls. They either keep to themselves away from others and they do their own thing or they participate in conversations and socializing but never get in the wheel. You can even spot a smirk that they have when they talk to other hamsters and it seems that they know something others don’t. You want to know what they know as they, apparently, see something that can help you.

These hamsters might see other cages with hamsters in them (other countries where things are done differently, where beliefs are different). They might even leave their own cage and wander off to other cages to try out those wheels for a bit but you can see in their eyes that they did it for fun not because they had to. They are not spinning the wheel because they feel that it is what you have to do or that it is an answer to the most important question – “what is the purpose of my life?” These hamsters are aware of multiple cages with multiple wheels in them. They are aware of hamsters and their ways and if they choose to join, it is not because they believe but because they choose to play that game.

The reality is – a cage is still a cage and a wheel is still a wheel regardless what beliefs you have, regardless what techniques you have on how to spin that wheel and succeed in spinning.

If you are ready, you might even notice that there are hamsters that have left their cages and never went to a different one. They are living their lives between cages fully aware of cages and other hamsters. They just have nothing in common with them. What does that mean? You can live your life realizing that your family, your community, your or other countries are just an illusion, just a belief that gets passed on from generation to generation based on beliefs and faith. Beliefs that people have figured out to be the purpose of life. They all spin wheels – some faster, some slower, following some kind of rules and beliefs.

If you do understand the hamster analogy, you might be ready to cross over. You might be ready to choose the right path and let go of the belief that you have to follow everyone else to find answers. We live and we die, and there is nothing that you have to do. The rules of the game called “life” revolve around only one truth – you are going to die and you better enjoy every moment of your life. Find what makes you happy and forget what other people think happiness means.

You are not a hamster and you do not belong in a wheel. Everything that has a beginning has an end but it is up to you how you live the life in between.  You only have one chance. There are no replays. You can spin the wheel as long as you understand it is nothing that you have to do. It is something that you choose to and you are having fun doing it instead of believing that you are destined to do it and you better be the best at doing it.

There is no difference between being a homeless person and a millionair as long as you are enjoying living the experience.

Demolition time

Roger Waters The Wall

Roger Waters The Wall

As I am smashing my hammer against the wall I am thinking about my mother. The wall just reminded me of how much they are alike. I know, how odd is that when a wall reminds you of your mother?

Somebody some time long ago put in the half wall in the most ridiculous place. You can kind of see the reasoning but still it just doesn’t make sense. You look at the layout of the place and you keep wondering why there is this wall that almost has no purpose as just to abstract the view and complicate things.

Same way is my mother’s life. Sometime long ago somebody made her think or feel or just told her flat out – you ought to be this way. No reason, no understanding , no purpose – just be.

And so she went to develop all the characteristics of this half wall. Till this day she chooses to be the half wall in her own life and refuses to think that walls are not permanent. She refuses to remove these walls in fear that she will not live up to somebody’s expectations and will not have the purpose somebody else chose for her. However, she herself can’t explain that purpose or even knows it.

All she knows is – you ought to be this way…

Serendipity All the Way (Awakening Challenge)

Being Awake

I took on a challenge to write about My Awakening and Moving on. Barbara is inspiring and I really like the way she shares her experiences and encourages other people to look deeper into themselves.

So, here is my entry for January 9th.

Awakening to who you truly are…is a lifelong process for some, a quick rock bottom for others, and will never happen for the rest of people.

Awakening is not a logical state one advances to. It is not something magical or something everybody should have or even want. Furthermore, it is not something that only a few chosen reach. Awakening is when you see things in their true light. Awakening is when you understand the difference between perception and reality.

Like the rest of the world throughout my life I had moments when I was utterly confused and lost. I did not know who I was, what I was doing here, and what my purpose was. So many times I felt like I was in a theater watching everybody else on the stage playing. They were so close but so far at the same time. Once in a while I felt like I had found my place but it lasted just for a few moments and I was back in the dark hole again.

I started looking around for answers. I wanted to know why nothing feels real, why people feel fake, why I feel fake, and why the truth is lingering in the air, but is so unreachable and always slips away.

I started my journey by reading books. Robert Scheinfeld’s “Busting loose from a money game” and Jed McKenna’s The enlightenment trilogy.  Then I also explored Scheinfeld’s online program, “Path To True Joy”.

I chose to go down the rabbit hole. Two things turned my life upside down.

” how do you know that you are not dreaming right now?”

” you are going to die!”

As more I thought about them as deeper I reached within myself. Once you ponder long enough, life changes drastically. Let me ask you; if you found out that you will die tomorrow, what will truly matter today? What are things that will be important to you?

Exactly! I can see your marbles moving. Try to think about this for a while. Do not sweep your fear away, do not run, do not get back into your comfort zone and pretend like this doesn’t apply to you. YOU WILL DIE. The question is when – in 5 minutes, tomorrow, in 20 years?

We live in a world that is built on fear, false beliefs and rules that are not ours. We create layers and layers of lies, convictions, personalities, and roles. We get told and taught what is true, how we are supposed to live, what to desire, and how to think.

The truth is that THE Truth is out there. It’s all around us – in every moment of our lives, in sayings, in books, in poetry, and in quotes. One day you might have an AHA moment and you will never look back. You will not be able to. Once you see the truth, you can’t go back to the ignorance.

” Life is a dream, realize it.”
“Don’t believe what your eyes are showing you. All they show is limitation.”
“I do not exist to impress the world. I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy. ”
“The process of enlightenment is not about becoming who you really are but about unbecoming who you never were.”

I know, you think you understand what these quotes are telling you, but let me tell you that most likely you don’t. If you did, you would not struggle, you would just be…

I’ve had glimpses of the truth. I have seen it, I have felt it, I have experienced it, and the more I allow myself to go with the flow, the happier I am. Once you see that people around you function and live based on fear (death, being different, disappointment, not fitting in, not living up to expectations, wrong choices), you start feeling the truth, you start embracing it, and living it.

What am I talking about? What kind of truth?

When you were born, you were an empty book. You had no understanding of what was right or wrong. You did not know what was good or bad. You did not have a set of words to describe things and you did not have experiences you associated with words and their meaning.

Now your book is almost full of references, words, and beliefs. You are a walking breathing Wikipedia of your people (parents, neighbors, teachers, friends,  community). You live according to rules and beliefs that they taught you. This is a fact and it is the Truth. Your whole life is based on belief system of lies.

If I ask you to tell me what “bad” means, you will reach inside your memories and a collection of words and feelings to give a good description. Where did you get all that? Where did your beliefs, convictions, and morals come from? They are not yours. Remember, you were born without them.

Once you stop judging everything and once you stop comparing everything to a “good – bad” scale, you start living.  If things just are, not good or bad, you experience them in a whole new way. You realize that you are not bound by them anymore. There are no such things as” I have to”, “this is the right thing”, “that’s what people do”, and etc.

Once you start realizing the falseness of who you have become, you start unlearning who you have never been.

There is only one thing you need to remember – everything in your life, including people, are the projection of your inner self and your beliefs. For something to be true, it has to be true for everyone.

Most of what we interact with is not the world itself. Those are our beliefs about it, our expectations of it, and our interpretation. We filter everything through our personal belief prism. We can’t just stand aside and allow things unfold as we have a very difficult time observing events without confusing them with the thoughts we have about them, and so the majority of what we experience is imaginary things.

It was a long way to this point and I still have a long way to go to be fully integrated and not divided with the Universe, Mother nature, and my own world.

However, I am still a spectator in the theater but this time I do not feel that there is something wrong because I know – it is my play. I choose to play whatever the game is. I am not a slave to my beliefs. I enjoy everything that comes my way as I trust in myself and the Universe that whatever needs to happen, whatever I authentically desire, it will be just given to me in a way that is the best – be it a heart ripping loss of somebody close or a lottery winning.

Happiness is not a goal or a destination, happiness is a journey. Beliefs are limiting. Fear is paralyzing. Wants are based on false beliefs. You need to unlearn everything you know and everything you have considered true, and find The Truth.

The next Post, January 10th is Korinn’s awakening experience… – http://www.korinn.com

January Challenge Schedule…

1st     Barbara  – http://memymagnificentself.wordpress.com
2nd    Paddy    – http://paddypicasso.wordpress.com
3rd     Emanuel- http://emantable.com/musings-of-a-table/
6th     Julianne – http://juliannevictoria.com
7th     Sarah     – http://rayoflight7777.wordpress.com
8th     Shree     – http://heartsongsblog.wordpress.com
9th     Dace      – https://mywaytotruth.wordpress.com
10th   Korinn    – http://www.korinn.com
11th   Sindy     – http://bluebutterfliesandme.wordpress.com
12th   Stefanie – http://dancingwithstefanie.com
13th   Mick      – http://meticulousmick.wordpress.com
14th   Joss      – http://ccwow.wordpress.com
15th   Megan   – http://mychroniclifejourney.wordpress.com
16th   Pat         – http://patinspire.org
17th   Marga    – http://lifeasimprov.com
18th   Kimberley – http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com
19th   Becki        – http://isurvivedamurderattackmyfamilydidnt.com
20th   Serena      – http://beingmefromatoz.com
21st   Heather     – http://wildflowerwomen.wordpress.com
22nd  PurpleRay – http://purplerays.wordpress.com
23rd    Sue          – http://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com
24th    M…          – http://seeingm.wordpress.com
25th    Brian G    – http://middlepane.com
26th    Dotta       – http://dottaraphels.wordpress.com
27th    CW          – http://sunflowerrosecw.wordpress.com
28th    Laurie       – http://lauriesnotes.wordpress.com
29th    Debra       – http://ptero9.com
30th    Linda        – http://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com
31th    Michael     – http://navigator1965.wordpress.com

Freak-Out of The Day…

Courtesy of Google images

Courtesy of Google images

You want it or not – it will get you one way or another.  As they say, you can run but you can’t hide. You can live in denial and you can avoid reading about it, hearing about it or even thinking about it but one day, trust me, it will catch up. It is better if you luck out and somehow come face to face with it just in your thoughts while reading or watching something.

What am I talking about? Genetically modified food or Monsanto.

You might think that it doesn’t impact you or that it is just a silly talk but once you start reading about it and start learning what it means – genetically modified food, your hair will stand up.  But the best part is yet to come.  So many products out there that you consider healthy and good for you actually consume genetically modified seeds, vegetables, and fruits.

“..GMOs, or “genetically modified organisms,” are plants or animals that have been genetically engineered with DNA from bacteria, viruses or other plants and animals…” says Monsanto Facts website.

Yes, not everything that is written online is true and that is why you should go and read about it yourself. You should educate yourself on the food you consume, drinks you drink, and medicine you are prescribed. If you trust in the System, it will fail you and it will betray you most of the time. The system is run by the people who like power. Some of them are honest and fight for what’s right but most of them just want to feel like they are the center of the world.

I don’t know about you but I do not want to eat tomatoes that are modified with frog’s genes. I do not want to eat corn that is injected with bacteria or chemicals that require respirators to apply.  And I definitely do not want to eat rice with Human genes engineered into them. ( Natural News)

I was speechless to find out that some companies that I choose in the store thinking that they are healthy and are made from good ingredients are actually using genetically modified ones. Healthy Choice, Natures Valley, V8, and Lipton is also on the list.

Take a look, you might find a few of your favorite ones: Shift Frequency

Honestly, it scares BGSUS out of me . It might not be freak-out of the day, it could be freak-out for life…

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