When The Sun Goes Down

Life is extremely unpredictable. When you think it can’t get worse, it comes up with something spectacular and blows your mind. Not necessarily in a positive way.

Small ups and downs are just a part of the ride but major blows that tear your heart apart is hard to comprehend.

Not enough that some people are a living proof of a day-to-day struggle of trying to make ends meet, or trying to stay sober, or trying to kick an addiction, or just trying to not kill themselves, Life sometimes decides to add an extra special gift of taking away what you love the most – a life of someone dear.

Every struggle is different, every fight to get over whatever you need to get over is something that nobody but you will be able to experience.

There are more questions starting with: ” how do I…” than answers that start with: ” This is how you…”

Why do we as a society pay more attention to teaching how to celebrate a win, a victory, an achievement,  instead of teaching how to make sure you are alright when you suffer a loss?

So, when the sun goes down in your own life or your friend’s life, how do you figure out what to do? There are many books written about “how to..” but we are all still lacking this important life skill and we are at a loss when the time comes. You can’t possibly suddenly rush to read a book for dummies on “how to…” and still be able to comprehend and adjust your feelings to feel or do the right thing. And what is the right thing to do?

We are so unequipped to handle any loss in our lives – loss or a job, loss of a house, loss of a pet, loss of a friend, loss of a family member, and even less equipped to handle anything when a friend suffers a loss.

I am just curious, why we do not teach our kids that death is part of life, that loss itself is inevitable, and how to deal with that.

Why do we just hide and hope that it will pass? Why do we awkwardly turn our heads away in emotional horror when we see a person who just lost a family member?

When the sun goes down, we all are left to deal with sorrows on our own and hopefully, someone is there for us to offer a helping shoulder when you feel like disappearing into nothingness to avoid feeling.

When the sun goes down, for some people it might not ever come up again.  So how about bringing a little piece of your Sun, your strength, your presence?

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About Dace

I am perfectly imperfect!

2 responses to “When The Sun Goes Down”

  1. hafong says :

    It’s a hard question to answer the why. I have not suffered many personal losses except for grandparents. I have seen many deaths as a nurse. I find it strange now that I’m retired, I am finding death difficult to deal with. Maybe because I’m that much closer to it. My mother has not been as well this year. And I was frightened by that prospect. But she is better so I am better. Of course there will be day.

    Lily

  2. amybovai says :

    Great post! I can especially relate as my mother recently passed away and I (who am often considered to be sunshine to others) sat in my apartment watching the sun going down (ironically). Two months of grief. But really, it’s everyday. Today, I noticed our calendar was set back on August. i thought, “Mom, it’s time to move the calendar onto the next month.” Then I realized, she would never do that again. (She always crossed off the days with an x ). Moments like those sneak up on me. I miss her. And I know it’s a part of life. But it’s still hard.
    Thanks,
    Amy

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