You suck, so do I…
You know all those things you are bad at? Most likely you are not as bad as you think you are. Probability states that there is a ton of people who are even worse.
Why does it matter? It actually doesn’t. It doesn’t matter if you are great at it, really bad at it, the best at it, or the worst. What matters is that you need to stop comparing yourself to something as fluid as perception of what is good or bad.
It blows my mind every time I think about how society works. It is an amazing engine that exists and functions only because there is a system of jobs and political / economical/ psychological /demographic strategies to support it. It can’t exist without well-orchestrated job systems, which need well-trained people to ensure society’s continuous existence.
There is a place for everyone in this rat race. Without different jobs, there would be an utter chaos.
However, with an extremely well thought out strategy comes a heavy price to pay – a human struggle.
You need to pick what you want to do to be a valuable member of the society. You have to contribute by working and making sure some part of the big well-oiled engine works, be it a garbage removal person, a bus driver, a teacher, a doctor, a farmer, an owner of the business, a writer, a movie producer, and etc.
If you choose not to contribute, you are seen as a nuisance, you become an outcast.
And, this is where the slippery slope begins. What does becoming a nuisance mean? What does it mean to contribute to be useful and accepted? Am I good enough? Do I matter? Who am I? Why can’t I be like everyone else?
We beat ourselves up a lot. We find things to compare and criticize. We have no idea what exactly but we know it is not good enough. No matter how much we achieve, no matter how successful we become, no matter what kind of career we choose, the feeling inside that we are fake and not good enough always somehow stays.
“But how about those who think they are the best? How about those a*holes who think they own the world?”, you would ask?
Well, my friend, have you heard of the term “coping mechanism”?
You have 3 kind of people in this world.
- Those who become victims of the existing system and can’t emotionally deal with it.
- Those, who choose to fight and ignore the inadequacy by becoming either a*holes or free spirits, and
- Those who learn to coast by not getting stuck in either of the extremes but still going through ups and downs
All three groups have developed coping mechanisms that they use to deal with this overwhelming feeling of not good enough. Some succumb to I am never good enough. Some take a stand and say, “… hold my lollipop and watch this..”, and either become a*holes to prove that they are somebody and nobody will tell them otherwise or some just choose to exist in their own world and not bother about playing by the rules, fitting in, or being part of the system.
And, then you have the majority who somehow manage to go through ups and downs by experiencing what other two groups experience but always change based on what better suites them at that particular moment in life. They manage to deal with their emotions and still hope that somehow they will find the right answer to whatever questions they have.
They get up, get dressed, eat, go to work, go to school, do chores, go to bed…wake up, get dressed, eat, go to….etc. Somehow between all this they manage to cry, get depressed, get hurt, hurt somebody else, get pills, drink, use drugs, talk to somebody, pull themselves together, quit their job, get divorced, and then…go to bed, get up, get dressed….
Being fake, not fitting in, not knowing, feeling worthless, being taught and encouraged to be better and to do better, being pressured to become somebody…that’s the price tag to have a society that sort of takes care of you and your needs…