But, What About Me?

meThey say it’s okay to be afraid because you are about to do something brave. In my experience, quite often being afraid leads to making some extremely not bright decisions.

So, I would like to paraphrase this saying.

It’s okay to be afraid because you are about to do either something brave or something stupid.

Unfortunately, there is no way to predict which direction you are going to go.

When life is driven by do’s and don’ts and when you have to re-discover yourself after hitting rock bottom, most of the time you have to start from the very beginning.

You have to start with the question, do I know what is happening? Not literally understanding what and who and how but look deep into yourself.

You need to understand how you got here. You need to understand what choices you have made that brought you to this point in life.

You have to understand what you are avoiding and what you are running away from. You have to really understand what exactly you are trying to achieve and what drives that desire.

I am not talking about the lamest statement one can provide – I want to have a good career, decent life, family, and etc. These statements could be recorded and replayed for every single person as these are passed on from generation to generation as a to-do list.

I am referring to actual reasons why somebody is making choices.

Maybe you were bullied as a child and now you have an internal burn to proof that you are somebody.

Maybe your parents got divorced and you felt like you were not needed or loved and now you subconsciously continue choosing partners, jobs, friends that continue making you feel the same way.

Maybe you subconsciously have chosen to go down the other rabbit hole and keep choosing people and jobs that make you uncomfortable with their affection, attention, and constant need for you to be their center of attention.

Maybe your parents didn’t teach you that you are not the almighty center of the universe and now you believe that you deserve things and that world owes you.

Maybe you learned not to care because you are not worthy.

maybe, maybe, maybe….

People say, we learn from our mistakes. People say that if you do not make mistakes, you are not growing. Yes, there is an aspect of truth in everything said.

But these genius quotes do not cover the stupidity that is caused by choices that were driven by the emotional trauma. You can be stupidly brave and do something that will change your life for good and you can also be just stupid and hurt yourself or someone around you.

We all have that one person in our lives that make stupid decisions that are brave in their own right but can be classified more stupid than brave. You know why they make choices they do and you try to help them see the driver behind those decisions but nobody can help them unless they help themselves.

And when that day comes when they ask you – but what about me, I hope you are brave enough to tell them that the only way around this is to start loving and accepting themselves.

When you understand why you make stupid decisions, you open the door to be brave, and that is when it is about you….

 

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About Dace

I am perfectly imperfect!

2 responses to “But, What About Me?”

  1. Carolyn Page says :

    Gosh, Dace, I have made many ‘stupid’ decisions throughout my life; though, I know I couldn’t, at that time, make any other decision. The dye was cast, and nothing could prevent ‘it’ from being my reality.
    However, with time and desire came the soothing balm of loving and accepting myself, as you’ve said; then all things changed and I became, more and more, the commander of my own ship….
    Just as we can’t put a knowledgeable head on young shoulders; we also can’t ‘wake up’ until we can.
    Something we wish for all, yet may not happen for some!
    A great read… 🙂

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