One Day at A Time

DSC03440Grieving is a complicated thing. From day one we learn how to celebrate achievements and wins but when things come to knowing how to grieve a loss, we suddenly realize that we have no clue what to do.

Not just we do not know how to grieve our own losses, we do not know how to deal with other people grieving. We do not know what to say or do, so we avoid, we run, we just put our heads down and hope that we do not have to face the person.

I guess, once you have experienced grief, you learn a thing or two.

First, let yourself be. Whatever emotions come, go with the flow. Don’t hold back or try to control.
Second, there is no right or wrong way. There is only your way. You can’t classify it, you can’t rationalize or explain.
Third, whatever you feel, that is the way to go.
Fourth, guilt and anger are natural feelings. As human beings we are pre-dispositioned to fix whatever is wrong. If we can’t fix or save or make it better, we get angry and we blame people, things, ourselves.
Fifth, forgive yourself.

It is really important to remember, you can’t change the past and you can’t relive it. You have to find a way to let it go.

You have to take one day at a time and get comfortable with what you got right here right now. Pain will never go away. It will fade. Emptiness will never be filled, but you will find a way to bring something new into your life and that will bring you peace and comfort.

Practice talking about it. First to yourself, then to others. The more you talk, the easier it will become. Sometimes somebody will say something that will change your whole perspective.

As crazy as it sounds, even if you talk out loud just with yourself, if you verbalize what you feel, your sub consciousness deals with it. When you say it out loud, you learn to accept it and that starts healing.

I do not expect miracles. So, I take a deep breath – one day at a time.

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About Dace

I am perfectly imperfect!

2 responses to “One Day at A Time”

  1. Lois says :

    Good post, Dace. Grieving is such an individual thing, and there’s no way to know how we will react from one grieve-able instance to the next. Each “session” (for lack of a better word) of grief is different than any other one. Sometimes grief feels like it ‘s going to take me over and never let me go. I’ve learned to accept it when it comes, feel the pain as deeply as I can feel it, react to it however I need to: whether that’s crying, walking alone somewhere, seeking out another to talk to, talking out loud to the person or pet or whatever I’m grieving. I try to keep it at the surface and not allow it to go under until it’s settled because grief that is hidden comes out in other ways. I also think grieving is like an onion – there are layers and layers of grief and sometimes all I’m doing is peeling away one layer at a time, no matter how long it takes. Thank you for writing. I’m so happy to call you my friend. Peace to you ❤

    • Dace says :

      thanks Lois. I know how many dear hearts you have lost in such a short period of time. I do not know how you managed to stay true to yourself.
      Grief is a huge part of our lives and sometimes it takes over the whole being and sometimes it just scratches the surface.
      I miss my little girl more than I have ever missed any human being but I guess that is my path and I have to walk it. As I said, one day at a time…

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