The Day You Made a Difference

canada_flag_maple_leaf_o_canada_nation_symbol_icon_rackcard-rb4a31653804f4da5a4c52b4238ceaffe_vgvr1_8byvr_512Everybody is running around looking for something. Some want more money, some want fame, some want to be respected, and some just want to be useful at the right time.

What is the day you make a difference? It is a day when you finally do something for yourself regardless your beliefs, regardless people’s opinion, regardless if it’s right or wrong . Something that might not be a huge deal on somebody’s scale but is a turning point in your life.

No, it is not a huge milestone in your life, it is not a life changing / altering decision, and no, it is not something you have done just because you knew is right.

I don’t actually know what that is for you. There is always something that has been nagging you deep inside. That voice that never puts feelings into words, that voice that just randomly shows up in most random situations….Most of the time it is the most ridiculous thing that some people will not understand.

I have had two days in my life when I made a somewhat random choice and I made a difference in my life.

One day I was coming from work. I was walking to the train station as I had done a thousand times before. But that day I did something that I would normally not do. I turned around and walked into Tim Horton’s. I bought a soup, a sandwich, and a cup of coffee . I walked out, scanned the area and then I walked across the street and stopped in front of a homeless woman. She was reading a book and once in a while checked on her cat in a baby stroller.

I had seen that woman every working day for the last two years. That day was a day I was about to make a difference in my life. I stopped in front of her and asked what her name was. As she shrunk on the bench thinking that I will ask her to leave (she was sitting in front of one of the business buildings), she mumbled – “Marry”. “Marry, um….”, I said, “…will you get angry at me if I buy you dinner?”.  She looked at me and smiled. I gave her my purchase and thanked her, and just walked away.

It was not about feeding the homeless woman. It was not about doing the right thing. It was not about empathy or reaching out to someone who needed my help. I did what I did not because it was right but because I felt like doing it. I just did it and walked away. That day I did not do a good deed. I just changed the way I was. And, no, I did not go on a mission to save my soul or to change the world for the best as I was inspired to do so.

As our world is based on our perception and we see what we choose to see, it is not about the people who need our help, it is about us who need those people in our lives to help us see the path we walk.

The other day when I made a difference was today. I passed the Canadian Citizenship test. I didn’t think much of anything while preparing for it. I didn’t think much when I found out that I passed.

However, when I walked out of the building, I was different.  And again, no, it wasn’t because in a couple of weeks I will get an official certificate that will grant me the citizenship of the most amazing country and, no, it was not because I will officially be considered a citizen of a country that respects me as a woman, as a lesbian, and as a human being. It was because this was a day I made a difference in my own life. How and what – doesn’t matter. It is just a path that I chose to walk.

It is hard to explain. It is not about being more or less. It is not about having more or less. And it is not about being or not being something. And it is not about being thankful or feeling equal or feeling deserving.

It was the day that felt just right. The day that I do not necessarily have to share with others to enjoy. I looked around and everything suddenly felt different and only I knew about it.  It could have been a day that I picked up a lonely rock laying on the pavement.

That is a feeling that you suddenly get, that deep overwhelming feeling of just being. And, yes, that is the day that you made a difference in your own life.


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About Dace

I am perfectly imperfect!

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