S**t, I’m Going To Die


Photo by Dace Sevcuna

I looked down and thought to myself:” Yep, that must be it. I will die in a hole. In a very tight dark hole with somebody’s boots in my face.” Then I said: “Cool, let’s go” and sled my sorry behind into a cave that our guide called a Laundry Shute.

The story could start like this. Once upon a time, 5 lesbians and 1 lesbian wanna be gathered to have the time of their lives. What could be better than to dress up in coveralls, put helmets with flashlights on, and go caving?

I would love to say that I had deep life changing thoughts in my head and that I came out a changed woman and turned straight…ha..ha..ha…

Nope, not going to happen. But I will say: fear is in your head and has always been there. As less you think and more you do, as less time you have to come up with all kinds of horrifying outcomes.

Close your eyes and jump – is the best advice somebody once gave me. And I followed that advice on our muddy, dirty, and full of laughter caving adventure. I just wish they were a bit more detail oriented. My advise to somebody would be – close your eyes and jump but remember to watch your tail bone. (learned it the hard way).

I guess, the fact that we trusted each other with our lives made this adventure more enjoyable as none of us had to look over our shoulders in fear that you are left behind. Feeling friends in front and behind is the best feeling ever when the lights are out and you are feeling your way with your hands and knees in total darkness.

I had no clue how awesome that would feel to touch somebody’s boots and pants and be touched and bumped from behind while you are on all your 4 crawling through dirt, mud, sharp rocks, and spiders. I heard there were wood rats but none of them came out to greet us as so many women at the same time in one place can be scary.

I did have a few reminders during our awesome caving adventure.

– trust is huge. When you trust in yourself, when you trust in people around you, when you trust that everything happens for a reason and you trust that it is the right thing, you turn into a little dare-devil

– having somebody thrilled and excited in front of you allows you to forget your own fears

– when you jump, it is not as bad as you thought it would be (just watch out for those rocks that might take your tail bone out)


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About Dace

I am perfectly imperfect!

12 responses to “S**t, I’m Going To Die”

  1. Nancy van der Weide (@canagal) says :

    wanna be lesbian, huh? I thought I was the token straight gal ;-P

    • Dace says :

      you are but it is more fun to assume that you want to be like us and that is why we will never stop converting you. You are one of us and we love you the way you are – as straight as one can get…

  2. Nancy van der Weide (@canagal) says :

    I thought for sure that Sean’s butt would’ve turned you straight by now!

  3. liz says :

    this sounds awesome!!! what a great post… filled with such wisdom & wit. xo

  4. mickcgorman says :

    Sounds awesome! I have become claustrophobic in recent years and it is not fear based? totally irrational as I used to love caving, maybe I need 5 lesbians and a wannabe to take me? 😀

  5. carolynpageabc says :

    Smiling one of the biggest smiles ever…..! 😀
    That must have been absolutely delightful, though scary…!
    I don’t know if I could do that, you know… I think I’d have to be in the right company; no scardey kats pleaze….
    Here’s hoping the tail bone thingy heals real quick…! 🙂

    • Dace says :

      when you have your peeps with you, nothing is scary. Trust, my friend, is what drives us in this world. Trust in people, trust in yourself, trust in Universe…

      you should do this…it is worth experiencing.

      • carolynpageabc says :

        Not on your Nelly…
        (That’s an old Australian saying meaning; no way my friend; ain’t gonna….) 🙂
        I’ll leave all that ‘adventure stuff’ to peeps like you who have peeps who love to go into caves and stuff… Sheesh, I’ve got the heeby jeegies just thinking about it…)
        Seriously, Dace; I’ve never had the yearning to jump out of aeroplanes, or hike up a huge mountain, or go diving in the sea… I know, I know, boring……! Give me a dance floor, or a calm walk in nature, or a good blog to read and I’m happy.
        Though I thoroughly enjoy hearing about adventures such as this one of yours… It must have been exhilerating…! 🙂

  6. CarlyBeth's Blog says :

    lol! sounds fun 😀

  7. Heather Stearns says :

    Wow! My hat is off to you… You’d never get me in a place like that, lol!

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