A Letter To My Dad
Honestly, I have wished so many times that I had a father that I could love and respect, a father that made me smile, a father that held my hand and said that everything would be alright when it felt like the earth was tumbling under my feet.
I hear my friends talk about their amazing fathers, I see my friends being amazing fathers, and I wish I had experienced a glimpse of what it would feel to have one.
I am not sad and I am not angry as you did what you thought was right. You didn’t even know how to live your own life without hurting yourself and people around you. I guess you didn’t know what it meant to love and you were so lost in your own feelings that everybody else was just in your way of self-distraction. It was never about me as it was always about you and your pain…
However, as today is a father’s day, I would like to thank you for playing such an important role in my life. You taught me, how not to grow up an angry person. You taught me compassion and understanding. You taught me that violence is not an answer and that nobody has a right to hurt others just because they do not know how to handle their pain. As you were everything that I did not want to become, you were a great role model to me. You hurt me and messed me up so I can become a better person, so I can be somebody you would never become.
You were a huge part of my life for so many years, and you were such an inspiration. I learned at an early age that if I wanted to be happy, I just needed to let go and face my fears instead of running from them. I learned that pain is a good thing – it shows you that you are alive and that you are still breathing and it makes you understand that life is what you make of it.
You have a choice – to live and enjoy the journey or to waste your life living in the past judging everybody and everything.