Messed Up!

Yep, once again one of those thoughts that ended up being a moment of clarity.

I was contemplating for a few months to right about transgenders.  In this case, narrowing down to those who have gone through the transition and are living as the sex they identify with. The things that I was wondering about was, why some of these people keep coming to gay or alternative or gay friendly bars and hit on lesbians?

I  believe that even if you are not a, so-called, minority, you can still identify with LGBTQ community. However, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that a trans man comes to a gay bar and hits on a lesbian.

If any of trans men or women is reading this, could you please tell me why some of you do that?

I should get back on track here. The moment of clarity came to me when I saw the photo that is attached to this post.  First, it is not happening to me. Second, it is not my business and I am just reacting to it .  Who am I to judge?


Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

About Dace

I am perfectly imperfect!

6 responses to “Messed Up!”

  1. Victoria Oldham says :

    This was a big discussion on my blog as well some time ago. What the general consensus seemed to be, was that although they may have transitioned, they are still ‘other’. They have the experience of having lived as both sexes, and so are comfortable in a queer atmosphere where being different is acceptable. There are plenty of women who are willing to date someone outside bi-normative gender roles, so a transman hitting on a lesbian may get more understanding from a woman in the community who has an understanding of what trans is, than a woman in a straight bar who has no clue about it whatsoever.

    • Dace says :

      thanks Victoria for an insight. It does make sense if you look from a “being comfortable” perspective. However, just my point of you, if you are a straight man, you are a man either trans or since birth, and if I am at a gay bar, I do not wanna be hit on by either of them. The reason I go to gay bars is to be comfortable and know that I will not be hit on by men. I am all about diversity, acceptance, and everybody being themselves, but these situations do make me way too uncomfortable…

      I am quiet torn in my own stand on this…

  2. Kindred Pilgrim says :

    When someone undergoes reassignment surgery it doesn’t reassign their attractions to women or men. Hence the conundrum. Someone will find someone. I know a handful of couples living this experience. Peace.

    • Dace says :

      I do understand that. As it has been already established, women’s sexuality is not as black and white and to say that all women that identify as lesbians are exlusively interested in women, would be foolish. However, lesbian usually implies – not interested in men. And a straight trans man or heterosexual man would not make a difference as he is still a guy.

  3. trisexual says :

    Well gender and sexuality are two different things all together.

    I think although your body changes your perception of how others see you doesn’t. You never feel like you’re good enough to compete with the “real” men or women and you think that you will always be seen as the sex you were born rather than the gender you are.

    It took me a long time to get my head round the fact that lesbians were finding me attractive and hitting on me even though I was born a man. I always worry I’m not good enough but I’ve kinda got into the swing of not being a straight man but a trans lesbian.

    My latest blog post talks about it xxx

    • Dace says :

      oh boy, there is so much to educate myself on. I have ways to go to get myself up to speed.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your perspective.

Tell Me What you Think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: