Ex-Gay or Ex-Left Handed

Christine Bakke's In Mesh

Can you teach or pressure a left handed person to use their right hand? Yes, you can. Does that make them a better person? Doubt it! Does that make them right handed? Nope, not really! It just makes them live and adjust to what is not natural for them. They can use their right hand to do things but they will never excel at reaching their full potential.

You just can’t change what nature has given you.

Christine Bakke wrote in her blog:

“The biggest problem I still face is fear of close relationships with others – especially women. Fear of “emotional dependency” or “enmeshment.” Fear of needing someone. Fear of…I don’t know. Just fear, and now just a consistent inability to wholly participate in friendships with others.

I know that it’s not true – that while some relationships can be unhealthy, most are not. And closeness and yes, even at times emotional dependency should not be demonized. There are times when we all need others, and to be shamed for relationships that we had while ex-gay, those that others deemed unhealthy; relationships that may have been getting us through some of the tougher moments in our ex-gay process…it is a great harm and a great disservice to us at a time when we were the most vulnerable, and the most laid bare, needing others around us…”

Apparently Ex-gay ministers teach to distrust strong feelings towards anyone, especially anyone of the same-sex . Does that mean distrust feelings towards god and opposite sex as well? Don’ they preach to love god and to trust in god? And isn’t there somewhere in the bible written that you shall love your wife or husband with all your heart and stick with them trough good and bad and etc.? It looks to me that they are teaching to live with your partner / wife / husband without love.

How does that go together? I wonder what kind of person would do something like that to another human being just because they do not understand or are afraid of what they do not understand? Does that have anything to do with a thought that if I suffer and if I am afraid that nobody loves me, then you should too? If I can’t live my life according to my heart, then you shouldn’t either?


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