Gay Parents

This is kind of a hot topic and most of the people have their own opinion. However, as we all know it is either a positive one or a negative one. Just because I am, more or less, bias on this topic or to be more precise, I believe that it doesn’t matter if you have two fathers, two mothers, single mother or father or you have a mother and a father, I decided to do some googling.

So, the most common concerns people have are:
– How the children will be raised and how they will feel about themselves and their parents?
– Will they be embarrassed because they have two mothers or two fathers, or because their single mother dates women or their unmarried father has a boyfriend?
– Will their friends tease them?
– Will they be more likely to be homosexual than children raised by heterosexual parents?
– How will having been raised by gay or lesbian parents affect them as they grow into adulthood?

Unfortunately, there is no research available that was done by a neutral party that could present reliable end results. The research is done either by gay friendly or anti gay researchers, so…nothing to base my opinion on. And I think it is important to acknowledge that we truly do not have any scientific data that is un-bias and that would prove or disapprove a statement that there is no difference in development or personality in children that are raised by gay parents or heterosexual parents.

I would like to believe that it actually doesn’t matter who raises a child as parents are not the only role models children encounter during their development and growth. Uncles, aunts, male and female teachers interact with children and expose them to all kinds of experiences and interpersonal relationships. That would make me believe that a child growing up with either two mommies or two daddies or one mommy or one daddy or with grandpa and grandma still learn what is right and wrong and what it means to be a good person, and that love is unconditional.

The bottom line is that being gay is not a choice and it is not something that you could teach somebody. Sexuality is not taught or chosen, so it doesn’t matter if you have heterosexual or homosexual parents as long as you are loved. You can’t teach somebody to be gay or straight.

I know that based on the fact that technically gay parents can’t have their own biological children, parenthood is something that is carefully considered and planned and not an accident as sometimes it happens in heterosexual relationships. That should tell you that two people have thought about it, planned it, prepared for it and really want a child and that this child will be loved and expected. Yes, in these relationships children grow up more tolerant and open minded towards differences but it doesn’t imply that they lack spirituality or religion.


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About Dace

I am perfectly imperfect!

6 responses to “Gay Parents”

  1. A Strange Boy says :

    I wonder what people who are against both abortion and gay parenting would prefer if they had to choose one or the other.

  2. Justa Notha says :

    Ouch to these comments. With so many children growing up with only one parent or in group homes, I think kids are damn lucky if two adults want to make the serious commitment to raising them. Everyone wants to tell each other how live their life and raise their kids, but what are they doing to make a positive difference in the life of a kid who maybe doesn’t have two loving parents? Or if they’re against abortion, why don’t they offer to financially support a woman who’s considering abortion for the next 18 years if she has the kid?

    Melange Levonge has a great song on this topic:

  3. Bobby says :

    I get really angry when straight people begin questioning the parental skills of gay couples. Last time I checked babies do not come with owner’s guides for raising them successfully. The questions start from the premise that straight people are ultimately “better” at parenting than gay couples are just because they are straight and work down from there. I’d venture to guess that gay people were overwhelmingly raised by straight parents. No one questioned them about raising a gay child. As for being embarrassed about their parents, I know lots of kids raised by gay parents and yes, their parents embarrass them. Not because they’re gay, but because as kids grow up they are all embarrassed by their parents. Gay parents go to great lengths to teach their kids about the many ways to make a family, and that families are not defined in any strict way but by love and by the people who make that family up. All children, no matter who raises them, should be empowered by a sense of family pride that no one can take away. Just my two cents.

    • Dace says :

      I guess all parents embarrass their kids – either they are bad parents or too good. Either way parents always do something to make their kids shake their heads.

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