We are way too comfortable and we realize that we have gone through another year without having done anything.  Actually, we come to a realization that we have not really lived.

One or two years – nothing to worry about, but when you reach certain age and you look back on life with regrets, not so good. That’s fine, until you see your friend’s kids go off to college, you might feel that you have missed something.

If you want to truly live your life, experience, and enjoy it to the full extent, instead of barely getting by or just existing, then you need to find a way to let go of all the beliefs and convictions you have.

If you live your life worrying if you are living up to expectations, if you are letting down your parents, if you are doing the right thing,  if you have become somebody that other people approve of, then you are not living. You are trying to be somebody that other people think you should be.  That means that you live your life for others, you live to make them happy.

What makes you happy? What makes your heart skip a beat? Do you live for yourself or you live for others?

Photo by David Beck

“Thousands of gay marriages performed in Canada for same-sex couples who traveled to the country to get married may not be legal.

The Canadian government is arguing in a Toronto court case that non-residents who were wed in Canada are only considered married if gay marriage is also legal in their home country or state, The Globe and Mail reported.“

This statement from the Canadian government hurts and it is quiet offensive as those are people’s lives, their dignity, and basic human rights we are talking about.

The reason somebody would travel to get married is – they can’t do it in their own country and Canada has always been more progressive, supportive, and forthcoming than some other countries.

I think this could open a can of worms as that would mean that people from different casts, classes or religions or nationalities that have come to Canada from a country that doesn’t allow them to get married will not be able to be legally married. For example, Marriage between a Jew and non-Jew is not legally permitted in Israel. Does that mean that every Jew who married a non Jew in Canada is not married?

Two people should be allowed to get married in a country that allows that by Law even if their own countries do not permit that as it is the foundation of freedom, equality, and justice. Those are basic human rights.

I am married to an American. Neither my country nor my partner’s country support same-sex marriage. Yes, there are states that allow same-sex marriage in US but it is just a State. Same-sex marriage is not legal on a Federal Level. An American can’t marry a foreigner and sponsor them for a green card or a citizenship.

I am a Canadian permanent resident but I am still a citizen of Latvia. Same-sex marriage is not legal in US or Latvia. We got married in Canada before we moved here. Does that mean that my marriage is not legal? Are you saying that 6 years of my “so called” marriage I lived a lie? Are you saying that I am a less of a human being who deserves to love and be loved, and deserves to commit myself to my partner by making it official?

I will repeat myself but this is what it is – I am a human being, I love the same way as everybody else, I cry the same way, I work, I pay taxes, and all I want is – to be treated like everyone else, abide same laws, respect, and be respected by the country I live in or choose to call home.

I am ashamed of Canadian government for making this statement!

Update:

[Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said that a “legislative gap” that caused the confusion will be closed.

“The confusion and pain resulting from this gap is completely unfair to those who are affected,” Mr. Nicholson said. “I want to make it clear that, in my government’s view, those marriages should be valid.”]

Lose weight, exercise more, eat healthy, be nicer, change your image, and etc.

And, year after year nothing happens.  This NOTHING happens because there is nothing different about the first months of the year and the twelfth moths.

Things will change only and only if we want to change, and trust me, it is not going to be the first of January. Once you are ready to make the change, it will be right here, right now, and it might be 8 am or 4 pm, or 9 pm or even 2 am on a Tuesday, Thursday or Sunday. 

Making changes have nothing to do with a new day or a new week or a new year. It has everything to do with the reason you want to change. This reason comes from within when you are ready and not when you think you should do it.

This episode of bad attitude reminded me of a few things that we take for granted in this life without questioning, without making an effort to pay attention, without empathy, without knowing.

What I am talking about are the invisible people. Not necessary people that are invisible but people whom we make invisible by choosing not to noticed, acknowledge or just flat out ignore.

And there are so many other kids out there – straight, gay, transgender, who are picked on, laughed at, pushed around.  We all need a bit more kindness, a bit more love, a bit more laughter, a bit more compassion, and a bit more patience, and it all should start right here in our hearts

I look at myself and shake my head.  I think of people who matter to me.  I think of people who played a significant role in my life but are not with us anymore.  I think of people who might become dear to my heart. Why don’t I think about them so much during the year? Why now?

We all know that these holidays are commercialized and emphasis is on sales and gift giving.  Is this “becoming soft” feeling artificially created or there is something to it?

There isn’t an easy answer as for some it is not a problem at all, for some it will be a happy event, for some the world will turn around, and for some it will be a struggle with a happy or not so happy ending. It is the same way as with anything else that your parents, your relatives, your community doesn’t approve either it is a piercing, or bright green hair or your pants are hanging off your butt and you are showing your Calvin Klein underwear to the world.

There are so many ways to come out. You either make a big deal out of it or not. As I said, it is not easy as this world is a little bit more populate with heterosexuals than us.  The main thing to remember is – just do what your heart tells you. One day you will reach a point when you can’t live a lie anymore and you need to, have to, should or must come out to yourself or those you love the most.  You will know when you are ready.

• You can write a letter – tell them how you feel, tell them who you are, tell them that nothing has changed.
• You can have a face to face conversation – preferably not in a drunk state of mind. However, sometimes it doesn’t hurt.
• You can live your life and not officially come out but bring your partner around like nothing happened.
  You do not have to verbalize it to everybody you meet. You can just be. The same way as heterosexuals never introduce themselves with words “ and I am straight”. They just bring their spouses to events, to meet their parents and friends. Just do it without making a big deal.
• You can make a big deal. Start wearing t-shirts that support same sex marriage or I give a damn campaign or just say “I can’t even think straight”.  Surround yourself with gay apparel so that
  there is no doubt about what you are trying to say
• Start advocating for LGBT community
• Get interviewed on TV or write an article about coming out.

Just remember – being gay is not being different. You are still a good person – daughter, sister, brother, parent, co-worker, neighbour, friend.
Just because you fall in love with same sex people it doesn’t make you the 8^th wonder of the world.

How Do you know What Makes You Awesome? Being yourself – that makes you awesome! You say that you have many “not so good” qualities? Ok, define what is good and what is bad? Why would you have to live by somebody else’s beliefs? You define your  existence, your reality, your truth.

People Say that you are a bad person because…(whatever comes here). So what? You are still awesome. There is a place for good and bad in this world. There is a place for pain and happiness – that is what keeps it
balanced. You do what seems right at that time and maybe your behavior is not what people would expect but whatever you do is a part of a bigger picture that people might not understand. You do what you do and you do it right. You do your part in this world and that is why you are awesome.

How Do You Know that You Matter? Do you think you matter? Do you think you have something that the world can benefit from? Of course you do – you exist, you think, you have ideas, and you have a smile that will make somebody’s heart skip a beat. Of course you matter!

How Do you know The Bible is True? You don’t.  It is up to you to decide

How Do you know that God Exists or Doesn’t? You don’t. The Science can’t prove or disapprove. Live and find out.

How Do you know The Person You Love Loves You too? No matter what people say, they know the
answer. Sometimes you choose to ignore the obvious. There are always looks, things they do, words they say – there are clues that you choose to see or ignore, and it can go both ways. Love is such a tricky thing – you just can’t make yourself love somebody.  And if you can’t, they can’t make themselves love you. If you don’t love somebody, you can’t pretend as it doesn’t feel right inside out. When somebody is in love, they breath love, they see love, they illuminate love, they talk about it, their eyes speak love. You can never fool anybody unless they want to be fooled. You can choose to live a lie and ignore the truth but you know it.

How Do You Know that….? Whatever comes after that, you know the answer. Sometimes you are afraid to admit that you know the answer. I am not talking about the scientific questions that can be or cannot be answered. I am talking about questions that you have about how you feel, about your life, about your goals, about your place in this world.

You know the answer! Somewhere deep deep inside you have that gut feeling. You get confused when you start listening to what other people have to say about you and tell you that everything about you is wrong – your decisions, your thoughts, your dreams, your wishes. Listen to your heart and you will know…

The TRUTH is that other people are looking for same answers you are. They are not sure about their own path or the meaning of life or where they are going or who they are or what’s their purpose. You are awesome just because you are.

Life is precious and you should enjoy every single minute of it.  Bullied kids are not the only ones who need help. Bullies are lost and confused and the only way they know how to deal with their own pain and fear is to hurt somebody else.

 Have you seen those people who get upset about something at work and behave like it is the end of the world and you have robbed them of their last breath or air by not being able to do something they really, and I mean, really needed? I am talking about those people who morph with their work environment like it is their life’s purpose. Why? Life is so much more..

Life is so short to be pulled into the rut of undeniably useless roles and beliefs. I am not talking about going crazy or insane and doing some unreasonable things but just about living and enjoying. Follow your dreams, don’t become a part of this grey mass of brainwashed people who believe that you can’t or you shouldn’t just because nobody else has guts to try or to even think that there might be more to this life than trying to fit in, trying to do what everyone else is doing…

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but I am not and that is what is great about me and everyone else. Being normal means being marginalized, being invisible, being a part of none existence, losing yourself in some kind of fake beliefs and being somebody you are not.  Normal is way overrated.