We chatted about your work, we chatted about the train that was late, and we chatted about the nasty weather.
I could feel the sadness even though you were extremely cheerful and yapped my ear off. Usually, I would ask if everything was alright but this time I was so concerned about my own problems. I decided to let it go as I was not in a mood to listen to somebody else’s problems when my own head was full of fear and uneasy feelings.
To be honest, I didn’t even know you well. Our relationship was based on a superficial friendship. We didn’t care for each other much. Yes, we did see each other every week at least once and we made an effort to talk to make the train ride home as pleasant as possible.
I remember you every year around Christmas. I remember those sad eyes and I wish I had asked how you were doing.
You were so young to go…As you know, there were rumors that you didn’t do it yourself. There were rumors that you were pregnant and that you were somehow involved in drug deals. Rumors have never been proven and nobody will ever know what happened to you.
All I know is that two days later you didn’t walk through that door in the train and you never smiled again…All I know is that two days later somebody had to pick up your lifeless body off the street as you have jumped or have been pushed, or have fallen out of the ninth floor window.
When I think of you, I always remember how fragile our lives are and how important it is to say things when you want them, and how important it is to live your life to the fullest….