How do I tell people that I am gay? It is such an important question for so many – young and old, man and women, even trangenders’ who happen to be gay.
There isn’t an easy answer as for some it is not a problem at all, for some it will be a happy event, for some the world will turn around, and for some it will be a struggle with a happy or not so happy ending. It is the same way as with anything else that your parents, your relatives, your community doesn’t approve either it is a piercing, or bright green hair or your pants are hanging off your butt and you are showing your Calvin Klein underwear to the world.
There are so many ways to come out. You either make a big deal out of it or not. As I said, it is not easy as this world is a little bit more populate with heterosexuals than us. The main thing to remember is – just do what your heart tells you. One day you will reach a point when you can’t live a lie anymore and you need to, have to, should or must come out to yourself or those you love the most. You will know when you are ready.
- You can write a letter – tell them how you feel, tell them who you are, tell them that nothing has changed.
- You can have a face to face conversation – preferably not in a drunk state of mind. However, sometimes it doesn’t hurt.
- You can live your life and not officially come out but bring your partner around like nothing happened.
You do not have to verbalize it to everybody you meet. You can just be. The same way as heterosexuals never introduce themselves with words “ and I am straight”. They just bring their spouses to events, to meet their parents and friends. Just do it without making a big deal. - You can make a big deal. Start wearing t-shirts that support same sex marriage or I give a damn campaign or just say “I can’t even think straight”. Surround yourself with gay apparel so that
there is no doubt about what you are trying to say - Start advocating for LGBT community
- Get interviewed on TV or write an article about coming out.
Just remember – being gay is not being different. You are still a good person – daughter, sister, brother, parent, co-worker, neighbour, friend.
Just because you fall in love with same sex people it doesn’t make you the 8th wonder of the world.
For some cultures, especially Middle Eastern ones, usually coming out isn’t even an option. Well..it’s an option, but not a popular one as you will be cast out of your family, friends, and community all together. If the government of some countries find out, you could go to jail, be sentenced to prison, or worse sentenced to death.
I admire those that choose to come out knowing whatever consequences are awaiting them. I just hope that those who do and are accepted know how truly blessed they are.
By: thepersiancloset on November 12, 2011
at 11:58 pm
that is quiet sad that this is still happening in 2011. I hope that one day things will change and people in those countries will be able to be themselves.
By: Dace on November 13, 2011
at 1:48 am
I find that as I come out to more and more people, I just get more causal about my references to my sexuality in general.
By: Ben on November 13, 2011
at 3:53 am
once you are comfortable with who you are, coming out is just a part of every day’s life
By: Dace on November 13, 2011
at 5:46 pm
I’ve never really understood the need to Come Out with fanfares and all that. What we need to do – what I have done – is be honest with ourselves, accept ourselves for what we are. The rest can happen over time, slowly. Too quick and others rebel against it, they need the time to accept us for what we are just as much as we do.
By: Viki on November 13, 2011
at 10:52 am
there are some people who like to be the center of attention and whatever they do, they do it with a big bang. We are so different!
By: Dace on November 13, 2011
at 8:52 pm